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While conservative columnist David Frum is trying to convince his friends he's not crazy just because he's not that into the Tea Party, his wife, Danielle Crittenden, managing editor of blogs for Huffington Post Canada, is experimenting in the bathroom with a vodka-soaked tampon. The alleged "trend" among teenagers of sticking alcohol-infused things in non-mouth orifices seems to be a lot like those "lipstick parties" of a couple years ago -- made up by weird adults. Her own teenage son hinted as much when she asked if he'd heard of the "trend" and he responded, "Uh uh. No. Wait. [Cousin] told me bout it. Once. Some girl. At his school. Maybe. Dunno." There's always some girl, isn't there? She often has a disastrous experiment with some sort of food product. Crittenden set out for first person information and detailed what happened for the Huffington Post. 

As we noted earlier, Frum writes in this week's New York magazine that the couple faces tough times socially because of his ideological heresies:
It’s a very strange experience to have your friends think you’ve gone crazy. Some will tell you so. Others will indulgently humor you. Still others will avoid you. More than a few will demand that the authorities do something to get you off the streets. During one unpleasant moment after I was fired from the think tank where I’d worked for the previous seven years, I tried to reassure my wife with an old cliché: "The great thing about an experience like this is that you learn who your friends really are." She answered, "I was happier when I didn't know."
Now that she does know, Crittenden has more freedom. To her credit, she basically debunks the urban legend, noting that in its applicator, a tampon can't absorb much, and without the applicator, it's hard to insert. More important, alcohol burns.  Even so, if the couple wants to convince friends they're not crazy, these lines will make it harder:
  • "No need to say 'Bottoms up!'"
  • "Wait, a super plus couldn't handle a double??"
  • "Did it help that I've had three kids? Possibly."
  • "I began hopping around and breathing in the rapid, short puffs I'd learned in birth classes, so long ago, before I realized I didn't need to breathe like that if I took the epidural... I could really use a frikkin epidural right now."
  • "Gradually I felt... what? A small buzz? Certainly a definite, if slight, lightheadedness. Maybe it was the onset of toxic shock syndrome. Or intoxicated shock syndrome...?"

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