Royal Wedding Headline Fatigue: One Week To Go

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Prince William and Kate Middleton will be married in seven days. Until then, royal-fatigued media outlets will have to keep coming up with new and highly-specific ways of covering the wedding. Here are some of the ways newspapers managed to keep the couple and the ceremony in the news. Here's today's t minus 7 roundup. Come back tomorrow for t minus 6, and check out past installments here.

"Mexican hunger-striker gets trip to royal wedding" -- Associated Press

The story about Estibalis Chavez, the Mexican teenager who got a $1250 loan to travel to Britain after she staged a 16 day hunger strike in front of the British embassy in Mexico City in the hopes of scoring a wedding invite becomes decidedly less heartwarming when you realize she's still not going to get to attend the ceremony. She received a letter from Prince William's assistant private secretary that says as much. Chavez is still going to make the trip, because she wants to give William and Kate the picture she painted for them. Invite this woman to your fancy wedding!

"Just how rich is Queen Elizabeth and her family?" -- Forbes

Very rich. The Queen herself has assets valued at $500 million, while the items belonging to the Crown Estate (which includes Buckingham Palace, the Royal Art collection, and fancy Thames River swans, pictured right) are worth $10 billion. William himself receives a $450,000 annual dividend from money left to him by his mother, and earns about another $70,000 from his Air Force job. Andrea Peyser just became ill.

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"Royal wedding: Placing bets and playing drinking games" -- ABC News

Casinos around the world expect April 29 to be their biggest non-sports betting day ever. Some of the bets you can make: the shade of Kate Middleton's dress (2-3 for ivory, 3-4 cream), the color of Queen Elizabeth's hat (6-4 yellow), and whether Prince Harry will drop the ring (25-1 for, 1-50 against). The drinking game rules are about what you'd expect--a shot every time the Queen is shown on TV and every time the 1980 ceremony is mentioned.

"What's Kate really like? Friends open up about future queen" -- CNN

Apparently she's "boring," "a hard worker," "very normal," and "very measured and controlled." The British tabloids will change that up. And if they can't, well, there's always the 'Why is Kate Middleton such a measured, controlled phony?' angle.

"How Kate Middleton got her job as princess" -- CBS MoneyWatch

By dressing well, entertaining offers from competitors (discreetly), and networking with people who could help her, Kate Middleton convinced William to hire her for the vacant position of wife. The wedding is her version of filling out paperwork for HR.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.