Coldplay Fans Won't Sleep with You on the First Date

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Hey single people: Do you want to have sex tonight? Go on a date with a Nirvana fan. Would you rather watch reruns of Six Feet Under? Find yourself a date who likes the mellow alternative tones of Coldplay. Dating site asked its users how far they'd go on a first date: only talking, a kiss, or "all the way" and then matched the responses to the bands they were fans of. The results, which the site reported using every single sexual slang term ever deployed by your cheesy-creepy uncle, were somewhat surprising. Nirvana fans were the most likely to be willing to have sex on the first date. They were followed by devotees of Metallica, Linkin Park, and Kanye West. Those least likely to put out after just one date were Coldplay lovers, followed by fans of Adele, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry.

What does it all mean? The key thing to remember here is that the survey was about how far people are willing to go after a first date, not a survey of actual sexual activity. So perhaps we should consider the longings of the demographics of the bands. Those theoretically highly-sexed Nirvana fans are aging Gen Xers, who, warily eyeing 20th anniversary of the release of Nevermind later this year, feel confronted with their own mortality and want to get their last bit of sexing in before their sex parts shrivel up and fall off. As for the other end of the spectrum: It's not a great shock that the people who like sexless elevator music prefer sexless dates. Even the band's name sounds like slang for frigidity.

Tastebuds' full results below:

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.