Comments of the Week: 'Almonds Don't Have Breasts' Edition

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Fred Durst, of Limp Bizkit, once said of his bandmates, "Without 'em I'd be nothing but a pumpkin shoved inside a can." In the same way, the work we do at The Atlantic Wire wouldn't mean much if not for you, the loyal readers. We like it when you read our stories, and we like it when you talk back. This site happens to be blessed with a community of witty, well-informed regulars, and in this, the inaugural edition of a new weekly feature, we throw a spotlight on some of the comments we found especially funny, thoughtful, or otherwise noteworthy.

On Tuesday's post about the psychology of off-brand product use, Super Chundy reminded us why our bones are so brittle.

There is nothing wrong with owning a j-pod or drinking malk.

On Wednesday's post about LeBron James and Cavaliers karma, djphoenix went to bat for the basketball star.

Jelousy will get you no where rant guy. Lebron actually is an upstanding member of society. His record stands for itself. No arrests. No baby-mamma's drama, no fights with team members, no tax levies or outstanding bills, no bad club scenes, no hookers... Nothing outside of the law or of a civil and just society. Lebron is articulate, philantrophic and a winner. I am Cleveland born and raised, and I love the guy. He represented our city with the highest level of professionalism and enthusiasm for seven years. So he made a mistake in hosting a bad press confence to announce his departure. How logical is it for people to still hate him for that? Maybe it's the fans, and not Lebron who need to grow up and stop whining.

On Wednesday's post examining the booming market for almond milk, FloridaInternational made an observation with which there is no arguing.

Almonds don't have breasts.

On Wednesday's post about Alan Dershowitz's response to Sarah Palin's "blood libel" comment, BitcoDavid explained why word choices matter.

I have to disagree with you here, Mr. Dershshowitz. The fact that you, yourself, have misused that term in the past, does not make its use correct. It serves as one more example of the trend toward hyperbole and dilution of the language. For example, if I were to say that your classes are the Auschwitz of Harvard, or this shirt feels like a Yoke and Dragline, I would be rightly accused of not only exaggeration, but of offensive speech. Auschwitz was a horror and a blight on Humanity. The Yoke and Dragline was a torture device used to make slaves, and later, chain gang inmates, move in unison. My flippant use of those terms is offensive to those who suffered under their real use.

The term "Blood Libel," is a medieval concept, originating with the Druids, that has led to countless Pogroms and attempted genocides of the Jewish people. It was a foundational part of Nazi propaganda, as well as Spencerian and Lutheran (the man, not the religious order) dictum.

On Thursday's post measuring Obama's speech against Palin's video, Mangrove_Throatwarbler offered a novel way of understanding the comparison.

Remember "Heart of Darkness"? Remember when the cannibals spear the helmsman, a man deemed "savage," yet still more sophisticated than Marlow or the "pilgrims" on board, and he falls into Marlow's arms, his blood getting all over Marlow's shoes? Rather than soothe the helmsman in his dying moment, Marlow, overcome with a strange repulsion for the blood, strips his shoes and socks off and tosses them in the river. Then, rather than being upset that another human being has died in front of him, Marlow's upset at the thought that the same cannibals have likely killed Kurtz (his goal in going upriver) and denied Marlow the possibility of ever meeting him.

Seems to me like Obama's the only one concerned with the helmsman here. And everybody else is tearing off their shoes and wringing their hands about whether or not they'll get to meet Kurtz. Let's pause for the helmsman. To hell with Kurtz.

Thursday's post about summarizing the Bible in a single sentence attracted too much commentary to recap here, but we'd like to point up this coming-attractions blurb from Norla.

In the voice of a movie trailer (extra commas for dramatic pauses):

"In a world, plagued by by floods, locusts, temptation, and death, only one son of God could fulfill a century's-old prophesy, to die, and rise again, only to become...The Messiah!"

On Thursday's post about the Watson supercomputer's Jeopardy! run, BBadger alerted us to the real danger.

We should be more terrified if it refuses to phrase its responses in the form of a question.

On Friday's post about Lawrence Taylor's legal troubles, smilly124 put things in perspective.

"Did the former NFL star get off easy?"

Kind of depends on if you think Roman Polanski got off easy

Same time next week, Wire commenters. Thanks for all the good words.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.