Christopher Hitchens returns from "the holidays" refreshed and ready to air his grievances with what, in his opinion, may have been the most controversial thing he read in The New York Times before Christmas. In honor of the anniversary of John Lennon's death, Yoko Ono shared a story about laughing with her husband while making tea not long before he was killed. The end of the story was really what got to Hitchens, wherein Lennon's aunt delivers the news they had been following the wrong tea making procedure the whole time--that, in fact, the water should go in before the bag.
"I simply hate to think of the harm that might result from this," Hitchens writes at Slate this week. In an effort to correct the error of Yoko's seemingly harmless op-ed before Beatles fans everywhere perpetuate the farce that is American tea-making, Hitchens carefully lays out, step by step, the recipe for a proper cup of tea. First, he points out just how ridiculous anyone who dunks a tea bag into an already-poured cup of hot water actually is. "Now, imagine that tea, like coffee, came without a bag (as it used to do--and still does if you buy a proper tin of it). Would you consider, in either case, pouring the hot water, letting it sit for a bit, and then throwing the grounds or the leaves on top? I thought not."