If Classic Magazine Pieces Were Written for the Web

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In tribute to a widely circulated list of The Best Magazine Articles Ever, Joe Tone at The Pitch reimagines a few of these classic stories as online journalism endeavors. Predictably, the mildly humorous vision includes truncated article lengths, banal retweeted comments, copious "best of" lists and TMZ videos. Here are some of the highlights:

Superman Comes to the Supermarket," by Norman Mailer. Esquire, 1960

What it Was: Part psycho-analysis of a country, part political dispatch, Mailer's story about the 1960 Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles is Esquire's most famous piece of political reporting.

What it Would Look Like Today: A list, destined to be eviscerated by commenters on Digg: "LA. Still Sucks, and 9 Other Things I Learned at the DNC."
"The Silent Season of a Hero," by Gay Talese. Esquire, 1966

What it Was: Among the best pieces of sportswriting of all time, and proud owner of one of the great Joe DiMaggio-Marilyn Monroe anecdotes:She appeared on 10 occasions before 100,000 servicemen, and when she returned, she said, "It was so wonderful, Joe. You never heard such cheering." "Yes, I have," he said.

What it Would Look Like Today: A video on TMZ, with DiMaggio trying to pick up his luggage at SFO while an orange-tinted intern shoved a camera in his face and faux-politely asked about his marriage to Marilyn. Headline: "Boltin Joe -- DiMaggio leaving Marilyn for Idol runner-up."

For more related, and depressing, reimaginings, witness how The Huffington Post would write The Great Gatsby here.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.