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Apple is currently worth something like zillion dollars (read: $656 billion) and it has no signs of slowing down. The question the New York Times' Nick Bilton raises is, when are they going to reach the unreachable summit? When is Apple going to break the trillion dollar ceiling?

According to Bilton, analysts and investors think a reasonable assumption given the current trends is that Apple will crack the $1 trillion plateau on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m., which seems strangely specific all things considered. But, Bilton warns, there are other analysts (read: more fun analysts) who think Apple could do it within the year. Yep, they think Apple could do it by August 16, 2013. No specific time was given. 

Having Apple skyrocket up the stock market charts with a bullet to the tune of another $350 billion is unlikely. “It’s hard to imagine Apple growing any faster," said Michael E. Driscoll, chief executive a big data and predictive analytics company, who thinks the 2015 guesstimate is right. But with the new iPhone breaking sales records in an hour, well, anything is possible. It's not even that wildly great of a phone. When the original iPhone came out, it was better looking and performing than anything else out there. The iPhone 5 gave us features offered in other phones with a smaller screen than competitors. 

But the cult of Apple is strong with the young ones, as evidenced by this blog post written by a kid who got mad when the AT&T sales associate opened his iPhone for him. The shock! Horror! Even in his response, after his post was passed around Twitter and Reddit, he doesn't get what's wrong. "Ultimately my goal was to make AT&T and Apple aware there was a problem, and that something should be done to fix it," he writes. The scariest part is there are probably more people like him. With disciples this loyal and product calendar as predetermined as Apple's, the trillion dollar mark isn't hard to imagine. 

There is a chance Apple never reaches a $1 trillion valuation, though. As Bilton points out, Microsoft was once worth $616 billion. They never made it. Could Apple be the next tech giant to deflate? Every kingdom must crumble, right? What could be the downfall of such a mighty tech company? Their flimsy, hilarious maps app. "Indeed, the flap over the poor-quality maps on the iPhone 5 has led some people to wonder if Apple has already jumped the shark," Bilton warns. 

Fun to consider, yes? But then Bilton reminds us of the iTunes store, and how it already has 435 million customers, which 6% of the world's population. Oh, and that they're constantly trying to move into television and who knows what other projects they're developing. "Before we go any further, stop and reflect on the power that gives Apple," Bilton requests. We have stopped and considered, and the only logical conclusion we could come up with is that Apple is probably an arm of SPECTRE. We welcome our trillion dollar overlords and look forward to life under Tim Cook's rule. 

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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