Benchmarking Actionable Business Buzzwords

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Businessmen like their lingo. Frankly, we at the Wire are surprised that Ben Bernanke, in his "60 Minutes" interview last night, didn't make the following pronouncement: "In this mancession, with too few Jennifer Lopezes in the stock market, we're hoping workers struggling with inadequate Scooby Snacks don't hit the slide and become Ganjapreneurs."

Perhaps Bernanke hasn't yet seen Entrepreneur magazine's primer on the latest business jargon, which ranges from the fairly standard "mancession" to some slightly weirder recent additions. Here are some of Entrepreneur's terms and definitions to help you unpack the sentence above and make the jargon your own:

  • Jennifer Lopez: "Singer and actress J. Lo has been subject to both criticism and praise, but in investment circles, there's far more of the latter. Her, er, assets inspired the investment industry slang Jennifer Lopez, which describes the highly desirable rounding bottom of a stock's price on its way up."
  • Hit the Slide: "To quit in a spectacular fashion. See also: Steven Slater and JetBlue."
  • Scooby Snacks: "The slobber-inducing dog snacks from the Scooby Doo cartoon have been slang for pretty much anything craveable. In these recessionary times, though, the term refers to the cheap tokens employers toss out as 'incentives.'"
  • Ganjapreneur: "Someone who smells opportunity in the medical marijuana industry."

Somewhere, project manager James Atkins, profiled by The Onion after convening a "look-forward meeting to discuss and evaluate the company's event-chain methodology," is smiling.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.