Goldman Sachs Is Not Jesus
One-time enemies Charles Gasparino and Matt Taibbi can agree on this much
For those who don't pay attention to business blogging wars: Matt Taibbi and Charles Gasparino aren't friends. When Taibbi came out with his infamously lacerating "vampire squid" takedown of Goldman Sachs this past summer, Gasparino dropped nearly 2,000 words of refutation in the Huffington Post, beginning with a patronizing "I'm sure Matt Taibbi is a nice guy." Taibbi's response then drew the two men into a semi-mature, multi-round scuffle.
But as Lawrence Delevingne now observes, the two have found a point of agreement: Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein's recent public relations campaign has both journalists disgusted. Here's what they have to say about Blankfein's talk of Goldman's "social purpose" and doing "God's work," while other Goldman employees prattle on about Jesus:
Blankfein's spinning is reaching epic proportions ... No longer is Blankfein simply trying tell the world Goldman isn't the root of all evil; rather, old Lloyd is informing us all that Goldman is a source of goodness in the world...Oh really, Lloyd? My brother is a doctor who works in the intensive care unit of an inner city hospital; he could have a cushy lucrative practice here in New York, but he likes helping people, and yet he has never once told me he's doing God's work even after he explained one afternoon how he had just saved a homeless man's life by massaging his heart.
This is dumbness that doesn't know how to connect the information coming in from their other sensory organs, i.e. from the outside world, to whatever flowery kaleidoscope of overwrought horseshit their professors sent hurtling on a permanent lifelong spin-cycle in their empty skulls back when they were eighteen.