Growing Mustaches to Grow the Economy. It Works!

This is just too weird not to pass along. The American Mustache Institute (um, awesome?) came out with a study proving that mustached men make more money than their barefaced brethren and spend more of it, too. Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest two sentences in the history of macro-mustachio-economic literature:

The research found that Mustached Americans earned 8.2 percent more on average than those with beards and 4.3 percent more than the clean-shaven. People of Mustached American descent, however, also tended to spend 11 percent more and save 3 percent less than their collective counterparts.

Ok, is this for real? Justin Fox is dubious. Reuters reports it straight. I'll note that since 1980s-Tom Selleck finished mustache growing in America with his apotheosis of a lip-slug, and the last two recessions have ushered in jobless recoveries. That sounds like pretty conclusive evidence to me. The secret to growth is growth. We did it guys. Economics can stop now.