I somehow missed this John Scalzi treasure a few weeks ago:
This morning the local convenience store manager looked at me, and asked with neighborly concern if everything was all right. I told her everything was fine, except that the entire plant kingdom was trying to mate in my nose.
My asthma is terrible, and I'm stuck with one of the new inhalers, which is about as effective as waving one of those magnetic copper bracelets you buy off late night tv in front of my chest. Long time readers know I like environmentalism, but this is completely moronic. Asthmatics did not cause ozone holes, and engineering the CFCs out of our inhalers has not done a thing except make politicians feel good, and make me wheeze.