I am resigning from the human race. I don't want to be associated with this:
Peanut butter contains peanuts!
Yes, I am serious. A bridge buddy tonight told me that his favorite peanut butter, Wegmans, has a warning that it contains peanuts!
Check it out yourself if you do not believe me.
Allergens: Contains peanuts. Made in a plant that processes tree nuts.
We live in degenerate times, my friends. Our ancestors got into ships that would hardly do for a weekend sail on the lake, crossed stormy oceans, fought mountain cats and drought, sailed their prairie schooners into the wilderness, all without as much as a single "Warning: Contains wild animal ingredients" label slapped on the prairie. Ours is perhaps a more complicated time, and farther from the food chain, we may need more guidance. Indeed, as a vegan, I'm very glad of the labels informing me when something contains milk. But I hardly need to be told that all of the t-bones decaying wetly in the refrigerator case have meat in them.
If it is true that Americans have come to a state when they need to be informed that their peanut butter contains, yes, peanuts, then it is time to give the land back to the Indians. Forget the injustice of our initial seizure. A people who cannot determine, merely by glancing at the label, that something called "Peanut Butter" is likely to have quite a few groundnuts in it--that people does not deserve to be in charge of the sunglass concession at the mall, much less a once-great nation.