Obama wins Noth Carolina. Nothing changes.

So Obama has failed to collapse in North Carolina. At the house where I am watching the primaries, the hot topic of discussion is the marvelous inaccuracy of the exit polls. These are conducted by eager young college students with clipboards asking intrusive questions about your voting habits and religion. As you can imagine, the only people who wish to answer these questions are other eager young college students. As far as I can tell, the demographic data for people over the age of 65 is based entirely on one woman in Des Moines who thought she was opening a bank account.

Indiana is still a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma. No, not really. It's probably going to go for Hillary. Time to order more Xanax. Luckily, I'm told it will be cheaper when we get a new president who allows pharmaceutical reimportation.

Of course, by then I'll probably need antipsychotics.