A few things it is wise not to do

1) Drive home from a dinner party immediately after playing Mario Kart

2) Smoke while pumping gas, as (I just realized) all the Ethiopian cab drivers seem to do at the gas station across the street from me

3) Wear high heels and then merrily plan to walk home two miles

4) Leave home without your Kindle once you have gotten used to it. I had to sit in a Chinese restaurant for ten whole minutes today without a thing to read.

5) Order the Kung Pao Bean Curd from Peking Express

These are the lessons of my life in the last twenty four hours. I know you're all glad I shared them with you.