There were ten in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over . . . "

Okay, this is funny:

Harold Meyerson:

"It is 3 a.m., and the stillness of the White House night is shattered by the ringing of the red phone. President John McCain, rousing himself from a deep sleep, turns on the light and picks up the receiver. A U.S. embassy in a Middle Eastern country, he is told, has been blown up, and al-Qaeda is taking credit.

McCain takes a deep breath. "Character counts, my friend," he says. "Bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb Iran."

There is a rustling of blankets, and, brushing aside Cindy McCain, a concerned Joe Lieberman rises from the bed. "Not Iran, Mr. President," he says. "They hate al-Qaeda."

"That's right," the president says. "I remember now." He sighs with relief. "Good thing you're here every night, Joe."

But suppose, dear reader, that John McCain becomes president and Joe Lieberman doesn't bunk with the McCains on a nightly basis. How easily should the rest of us sleep?"


Not easily at all. When what sanity your foreign policy has depends on the presence of Joe Lieberman, of all people, things have gotten pretty scary.

Besides, it's not as though McCain is only confused about foreign policy. Think of all the people who would have to be hidden under the covers just in case something came up. Economics isn't McCain's long suit, so I suppose Douglas Holtz-Eakin would have to be nestled in their somewhere, along with someone to correct McCain's little slips on science and public health. Luckily, his ignorance of history probably won't get him in trouble in the middle of the night, so historians everywhere can sleep easier knowing that they will not be called on for special White House duty.



But get Doug Holtz-Eakin out of that bed right now. For one thing, the image of him and John McCain cuddling up in their nighties is one I never, ever want to consider again. In fact, I'm considering having electroshock therapy in the hopes of incurring retrograde memory loss. And I like Doug Holtz-Eakin.

Second of all, there is no such thing as a 2 am economic crisis. Financial crises happen during trading hours. All other sorts of economic troubles develop at about the same pace as gingivitis.

I also get the feeling that the president is rarely pulled out of bed to discuss what to do about the latest E. Coli epidemic or vaccination guidelines.

Honestly, isn't foreign policy enough to worry about?