Summer games: fantasy teams

Last night I was trying to explain the relative intellectual standings of various presidential economic advisors to a former philosophy student. This led me to try to compare various CEA heads to their equivalents in philosophic eminence, which didn't go very well since I don't actually know anything about philosophy.

It did, however, lead to a hilarious session in which we tried to imagine a Presidential Philosophy Advisor . . . and then a whole series of other advisors from disciplines not usually invited into the oval office.

President: Karbala has become a hotspot again. Time to reformulate Iraq policy. What should I do?

Chairman of the Council of Philosophical Advisors Mr President, let's imagine a universe composed of two identical blue spheres . . .

Chief Literary Advisor I think the first thing we need to establish is whether we are going to take a synchronic or diachronic approach to constructing our ways of knowing.

Art Historian General Do we have a withdrawal strategy for the artifacts in the Baghdad museum?

Presidential Sociology Liason Wasn't there supposed to be coffee at this meeting?

I invite readers and other bloggers to offer advice to the president in the jargon of their academic field. And remember: if it's on point, it's not funny.