Florida Man

A poem for the congressman from Florida

A black and white photo of Matt Gaetz's torso in profile, with a palm tree in the background
Bruce Gilden / Magnum

Florida man, Florida man,
great head of hair, studio tan,
if I were hitching in the Everglades
and you pulled up, I’d be afraid.

I wouldn’t climb into your minivan,
your swampmobile, O Florida man.
I’d wait for a ride with an honest trucker.
Anyone but you, you sleazy fucker.