Volume 296 no. 2 / September 2005
Abbas, Mahmoud, as cold fish, 76
Abraham, Daniel, SlimFast mogul, private plane of, 71
Agee, James, prodigious talent of, 119; "shameless inopportunism" of, 119; on film, 119-120
Andropov, Yuri, Arafat-proof properties of, 76
Arafat, Yasir, as squanderer, 60-91; stationery of, 61; lips of, 62, 91; Bugs Bunny and, 62; paternal instincts of, 64, 67, 74, 84, 90-91; nap time of, 64; screeching voice of, 65; renunciation of terrorism by, 67; annunciation of tourism by, 67; disputed death of, 62-63, 67, 77-80; as sugar daddy, 67-68, 80-81; sober-minded corruption of, 68-72; as no Nelson Mandela, 74; as narcissist, 81; naiveté of, 86; figurative horsemanship of, 88; as okraphobe, 91
Ariès, Philippe, historian of childhood, misconceptions of, 121-122
Arthur, Bea, Golden Girl, as revolutionary icon, 65
Auden, W. H., anti-film sentiments of, 119; pro-Agee sentiments of, 119
Barak, Ehud, as prodigal son, 88; as pianist, 88; as mathematician, 88; as mechanic, 88; hyperactivity of, 88; chilliness of, 88; strategic failure of, 90; as commando, 90
Barghouti, Marwan, Fatah leader, as Arafat rival, 74; good-government leanings of, 74
Berry, Halle, as fertility trendsetter, 143
Blair, Tony, as Clinton pal, 19; as "gay gangster" leading "the gay government of the gay United gay Kingdom," 154
Bonds, Barry, declining market value of, 19
Bouterse, Dési, Surinamese strongman, dictation taken by, 155
Brandeis, Louis, fallen mantle of, 42
Breyer, Stephen, relative worldliness of, 38
Bush, George H.W., as assassination target, 50; as bargaining chip, 77
Byck, Samuel, as would-be Nixon assassin, 50; as hijacker, 50
Ceausescu, Nicolae, PR representation of, 154-155
Cermak, Anton, Chicago mayor, as collateral damage, 50
Cheney, Dick, tame pheasants and, 138
Chirac, Jacques, as exchange student, 50; as HoJo's employee, 50; as Sarkozy father figure, 52; as Sarkozy nemesis, 52
Claus, Santa, persistent nonexistence of, 143
Clinton, Bill, world domination plotted by, 19; as Supreme Court victim, 38; as assassination target, 50
Dahlan, Muhammad, Arafat deputy, CIA ties of, 86; as "crown prince of Gaza," 86; crimped hair of, 86
Doe, Samuel, Liberian dictator, severed ears of, 154; enchanted genitals of, 154
Duran, Francisco Martin, as would-be Clinton assassin, 50; as uphol-sterer, 50
Dutroux, Marc, Belgian electrician, unspeakable crimes of, 128
Einarsdóttir, Jónína, Icelandic anthropologist, on social burden of anguish, 122
Eisenhower, Dwight, as Romney idol, 108-109; grandparental aura of, 108
Fromme, Lynnette, squeakiness of, 50; as would-be Ford assassin, 50
Galbraith, John Kenneth, as Rushdie device, 125
García Márquez, Gabriel, speculative geography of, 124, 126
Garland, Judy, as rock-bottom signifier, 127
Grandin, Temple, on autism, 136; on animal welfare, 136
Graner, Charles, Abu Ghraib ringleader, animal cruelty and, 137
Grisham, John, Indian readership of, 139
Harvey, Raymond Lee, as would-be Carter assassin, 50; starter pistol of, 50
Hazlitt, William, anti-rural prejudices of, 139
Hemingway, Ernest, bum rap endured by, 125; as "hairy-chested old fatty," 125
Hinckley, John, Jr., as would-be Reagan assassin, 19, 50; expanding freedom of, 19; Jodie Foster and, 19, 50
Hitler, Adolf, failing musical of, 154
Holmes, Oliver Wendell, fallen mantle of, 42
Housden, Maria, as runaway mom, 127-130, 133; affected typography of, 128; tantric sex and, 129; as Anna Karenina, 130; as seagull, 130
Hussein, Saddam, as would-be Bush assassin, 50; comic-book opulence of, 68; PR representation of, 154-155
James, Henry, mushiness of, 120
Kael, Pauline, wrongheadedness of, 121; necessity of, 121
Kahn, Louis, architect, Roman influences of, 121; as Philadelphian, 121; bookishness of, 121
Kant, Immanuel, on animal welfare, 134
Karabel, Jerome, sociologist, on "dark side of meritocracy," 122
Karenina, Anna, as friend of Oprah, 130-131; as "hottest broad north of the Kremlin," 131
Keaton, Buster, resurrection of, 119
Kennedy, Anthony, rhetorical indulgences of, 40-42
Kennedy, Ted, as Romney opponent, 112; complacency of, 112; as comeback kid, 112-113; on Mormonism, 116
Kutcher, Ashton, as latter-day Vronsky, 133
Lawrence, T. E., kinkiness of, 125
Lev, Ozrad, as corruption whistleblower, 68; California style of, 72; on sex and Israeli sneakers, 72
MacMurray, Fred, brilliance of, 120
Manilow, Barry, as Tolstoy inter-preter, 131
Marshall, John, common sense of, 38; fallen mantle of, 42
al-Masri, Munib, Palestinian businessman, antique mirror of, 65; as UT alum, 65; infrastructural despair of, 66; as pharmacist, 67
McKinley, William, as dream fodder, 50
Mengistu Haile Mariam, Ethiopian dictator, goodwill beheading ordered by, 155
Mercutio, as foreign-policy commentator, 126
Mobutu Sese Seko, comic-book opulence of, 68; PR representation of, 154-155
Moynihan, Daniel Patrick, as Rushdie device, 125
Mugabe, Robert, homophobia of, 154
Mullally, Megan, as literary critic, 131; as pharmacologist, 131
Murdoch, Rupert, as Clinton pal, 19
Nelson, Horatio, as motivational speaker, 44
Nixon, Richard, curdled ambition of, 46; as assassination target, 50
Nofal, Mamduh, Palestinian leader, as poet, 76; as guerrilla, 76; as pirate, 76; op-eds of, 76
O'Keeffe, Georgia, distinctive imagery of, 148
Oppenheimer, Robert, as "shatterer of worlds," 126
Orwell, George, on animal cruelty, 134
Osmond, Marie, as memoirist, 127
Posner, Richard, appellate judge, on Supreme Court indiscipline, 40, 42; on humancentricity, 134, 137-138
Reagan, Ronald, as assassination target, 19, 50; as recessive gene, 148
Rendell, Ed, Pennsylvania governor, as songbird, 108; as presidential handicapper, 108
Romney, George, brainwashing of, 106, 112; Mexican birthplace of, 112; Pancho Villa and, 112; potato-based diet of, 112; as stenographer, 112; as auto titan, 112; deliberative fasting of, 116
More Stories
Romney, Mitt, Mormonism of, 106-110, 116; Dansonian countenance of, 108; elastic properties of, 108, 116; squeaky-clean slang of, 108; as stand-up act, 110; as Bush classmate, 110; bottom-line Weltanschauung of, 110; PowerPoint and, 110; as dataphile, 112; Ted Kennedy and, 112-113, 116; Olympian exploits of, 113; as banana-bread enthusiast, 114
Roosevelt, Theodore, as assassination target, 50; bulletproof rhetoric of, 50
Royle, Nicholas, novelist, Belgian authenticity of, 128
Rushdie, Salman, Kashmiri roots of, 123; cosmopolitanism of, 123; potato witches conjured by, 124; humor of, 124; on female suffering, 125; equal-opportunity plagues and, 126
Saladin, as Arafat forebear, 60
Sarkozy, Nicolas, French politico, Americanness of, 46-50; as Tony Blair, 46; as Godot, 46, 52; Napoleonic dimensions of, 46; "bloodhound eyes" of, 46; Nixonian mien of, 46; affirmative action and, 46; as Chirac protégé, 52; as Chirac nemesis, 52; as hostage negotiator, 52; as force of nature, 52
Schwarzenegger, Arnold, as Clinton pal, 19
Silberman, Laurence, appellate judge, on Supreme Court indiscipline, 39-42; modest proposal of, 42
Sontag, Susan, as oversimplifier, 139
Souter, David, relative worldliness of, 37
Stewart, Jon, as masculine ideal, 148
Suleyman, sultan, magnificence of, 117; cell-phone reception of, 117
Truman, Harry, as assassination target, 50; truncated nap of, 50
Van Dyke, Dick, eminence of, 154
Von Kloberg, Edward J., III, strongman flack, Ceaus¸escu and, 154-155; Mobutu and, 154-155; Saddam and, 154-155; "Rolodex of evil" maintained by, 154; Toscan qualities of, 154; faux nobility of, 154; velvet-lined capes of, 154; on shame, 154; as op-ed hustler, 155
White, Byron, modesty of, 42
Winfrey, Oprah, Tolstoy and, 130-131
Yourcenar, Marguerite, as "butch lady novelist," 125; as "great gay-male writer," 125; on Hadrian, 125
Zangara, Giuseppe, as would-be FDR assassin, 50; as bricklayer, 50