At the TechCrunch Disrupt conference yesterday, the first presentation came from a pair of Australian hackers. The app they were demoing was called Titstare, and it was pretty much exactly what it sounds like: an app, the pair explained, "where you take photos of yourself, staring at tits" -- and then share those photos for the enjoyment of anyone who would enjoy an app named "Titstare."
"There's a lot going on here," The Wire notes of the debacle, "not the least of which is the broader context of discussions on the public alienation of women in tech." But the main thing to note is that episodes like this -- casual, juvenile objectifications of women in settings where women tend to be outnumbered -- are common. There was Donglegate. And that time that a South by Southwest presenter cautioned his audience against "gangbang interviews." And that time Squoot listed "women" among its list of hackathon attendance perks. And that time a man introduced a panel moderator, the accomplished executive Rebecca Lovell, as "a sexy married woman." And that time a presenter filled his slide deck with soft-core porn. And that other time a presenter filled his slide deck with not-so-soft-core porn. There was that time presenters at Microsoft's E3 conference made that rape joke. There was, after yesterday's Titshare presentation, another presentation -- this one involving a solo demo-er simulating masturbation. As a 9-year-old girl looked on from the audience.
We could dismiss all this as what it is: thoughtlessness, systematized immaturity, an obvious explanation for why more women don't go into tech. But, guys: We could also make art! Or something like it! Below, on the occasion of Titstaregate, an ode to the long tradition of boob references and booth babes at tech conferences -- a found poem composed entirely of headlines about, quotes from, and sadly-true tales of the bros who help build your Internet.
It's called Titstare It's an app where
You take photos of yourself staring at tits Women aren't that warm to it
For obvious reasons
So many babes
The breast is the most titillating fun you can have
Here are some women in bikinis, leaping
Gangbang interviews Are a bad idea
Just attract the chicks
And scare the dicks
That's what it's all about
Sexism in tech is as old as, well, tech.
To have more Women
So the next time you women want to start pointing the finger at me
Of too few women in tech
With your blame
Look in the mirror
The kids these days would call it a "sausage fest"
When we selected Rebecca and she said yes, she was a sexy single woman
And since that time, she’s become a sexy married woman
We merged technology and humanity
Sorry if we offended some of you,
Just a fun Aussie hack
Just a joke.
Just a joke.
Just a joke.
Just let it happen --
It will be over soon.
On our panels On our stages
But we failed There just weren't any
Who were qualified.