Remind Me Not to Buy This Fork That Keeps You From Eating

This gizmo gets my prize for most horrifying/fascinating thing to come out of the Consumer Electronics Show.

HAPPYFORK.jpg

This gizmo gets my prize for most horrifying/fascinating thing to come out of the Consumer Electronics Show, which is exploding all over Vegas right now. It's a fork that vibrates when you're eating too quickly. It's called a HAPIFORK (HAPPYFORK!).

Here's AllThingsD's Mike Isaac limning its importance in the history of the world:

Say hello to Hapifork, the electronic utensil that aims to keep you slim enough to fit into your jeans. It keeps track of the way you eat, literally giving you a little vibrating jolt if you're shoveling food into your mouth too fast.

Yes, this is what it has come to: Selling utensils that are practically shock-collar sporks, aimed at barring us from eating too much delicious food.

I would note that Isaac forgot that the gadget's name would be pronounced, "Happy fork!" (Or perhaps I am just imagining the exclamation point and the babytalk voice.)

But seriously: this thing generates a lot of data for a fork. Here's the Hapifork site itself:

Every time you bring food from your plate to your mouth with your fork, this action is called: a "fork serving".

The HAPIfork also measures:

  • How long it took to eat your meal.
  • The amount of "fork servings" taken per minute.
  • Intervals between "fork servings".

I find that switching on Runkeeper is actually helpful for maintaining a given pace. Would this fork help me eat at a healthier rate? Maybe. But I don't think the tradeoff is worth it. 

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