An Actor Performs a Dramatic Reading of a Yelp Review

"I don't think i will be eating their anymore because if the manager is not nice then what does that say about the business they are running ..."

Yelp is firstly a business and secondly a civic service; thirdly, however, the crowdsourced consumer-feedback site is a repository for a unique brand of digital literature. Yelp's content -- the technical genre of which is "review," but which also, often, takes the guise of novel, treatise, elegy, and haiku -- has at this point adopted a recognizable editorial sensibility. One that is guided by its authors' unique ability to blend, in almost equal measure, selfless generosity and ruthless indignation. A networked consumer is an empowered consumer ... but a networked consumer can also be, Yelp awkwardly reminds us, an entitled consumer. 

In the video above, the actor Chris Kipiniak presents, for your consideration, a case in point: a particularly Yelptastic review of the Stratford Diner, located at 19 S White Horse Pike in Stratford, NJ. Here is the review -- oof, one star! -- in its entirety:

I ordered the broiled crab cakes and they were really good and i called and asked if i could speak to the supervisor and the girl that asnswerd the phone wanted to know what it was in reference to and I told her it was regarding the food i ordered and and she said what was wrong with it and i said nothing i just wanted to let him or her know that it was good and then she was like ok hold on. When the manager got on the phone and i thanked him and let him know it was good he said thank you and you welcome but seemed like he was in a rush. I don't think i will be eating their anymore because if the manager is not nice then what does that say about the business they are running and the people in it.

Kipiniak's performance of this plot-twisting, crab-caking soliloquy is, as you might suspect, glorious. The actor, who is appropriately Lipton-esque in affect, shares his "experience" as earnestly and emotively and ponderously as the word "experience" demands. In that, he creates a review of Yelp itself -- one that both celebrates and eviscerates the site's particular brand of comically weaponized consumerism. 

Via Boing Boing

Presented by

Megan Garber is a staff writer at The Atlantic.

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