Celebrity Invention: Fabio's Slim-Fit Fat Burning Water


Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for celebrityinvention.jpgSome celebrities aren't just pretty faces. A few of them are also touched with that Yankee prowess for tinkering and invention. In this weekly series, we introduce you to the Patents of the Rich and Famous. And maybe you learn a little bit about how patent literature works along the way.

Inventor: Fabio

Known For: When you grab that gold embossed romance novel as you head to the beach this summer, the steamy man on the cover--who you will later fantasize about--will likely be portrayed by Fabio. His long blonde locks have graced the covers of hundreds of pulpy fiction novels that get you all hot and bothered.

After making women swoon as a model, he capitalized on his brand, writing his own novels, making cameos, and starring in this awesomely bad TV show, Acapulco H.E.A.T:

Once he recognized that women and men alike fawned over his looks, he realized he could share his blessed life with others by patenting Fabio hotness in a bottle.

Invented Apparatus: "Slim-fit fat burning water"

Fabio filed an application for a patented fat-burning drink containing a secret slimming ingredient: L-carnitine.

The water composition contains spring water and a premeasured effective amount of L-carnitine dissolved in the spring water at a concentration of no less than 100 mg and no more than 2000 mg per 16 oz of spring water... The water composition in bottled water is administered to a mammal for quenching thirst and increasing fat-burning, improving energy, and keeping body slim and fit.

Basically, it's the magic bullet we've all been waiting for: liquid hotness.

Rationale Behind Invention: According to Fabio's patent application, L-carnitine a.k.a vitamin BT has been proven to provide some sort of weight loss benefit. Currently, carnitine is sold as a supplement in pill, powder and syrup form. While some energy drinks contain small amounts of the compound, Fabio wanted to up that dosage, because, logically, more carnitine equals more fat-burning power.

Off-Label Uses: Wikipedia tells us that l-carnitine has also been proven to help the male libido: "The use of carnitine showed some promise in a controlled trial in selected cases of male infertility by improving sperm quality."

So Fabio's concoction not only makes one more Fabio-esque aesthetically, but also gives you that extra sex appeal where it counts.

Future Directions: Fabio only has an application pending for his invention. Let's make this happen. At least for us ladies out there, the world could use more Fabio-types.

Peruse more Celebrity Inventions.

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Rebecca Greenfield is a writer based in Brooklyn. She was formerly on staff at The Atlantic Wire.

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