Madrigal's Law: A Hypothesis About Random Online Encounters

Ah, the pleasures of the Internet! Lurking around every corner is some young man ready to lob some lowbrow scatalogical joke or quip about genitals. It's about time we systematized our knowledge of this phenomenon. So, in the spirit of other Internet laws (Godwin's, Poe's, etc.) allow me to propose Madrigal's Law: In any social application that randomly connects you to other people on the Internet, there will be a penis reference within your first three encounters. Empirical evidence spilled out of last year's flash in the pan, ChatRoulette, but Madrigal's Law was really inspired by my brief experience with the surprisingly entertaining RandTXT, a random text message-matching application.

Here's how the new service works. You text a question to RandTXT and are fed back someone else's question. When you answer, you're rewarded with the answer to your own question. Simple. I decided to try out some of Pablo Neruda's cagey questions from his late work, The Book of Questions. Here's how the encounters played out.

Round 1
My Q: How did the abandoned bicycle win its freedom?
Answer: It was abandoned.

Evaluation: I was disappointed in the response I got, but hey, my question was kind of a curveball. Let's try again.

Round 2
My Q: Is the crater an act of vengeance or a punishment of the earth?
Answer: Earthfarts.

Evaluation: Really, earthfarts? Really?

Round 3
My Q: And what did the rubies say standing before the juice of pomegranates?
Answer: "Let me tell you about mah wiener!"

Evaluation: BOOM! A mere three encounters in, asking only questions from a 1973 book of Chilean poetry and Madrigal's Law holds.

A casual perusal of the site's other exchanges yielded similar ratios of non-penis to penis answers. Though it's very, very uneven, the site can be genuinely LOL funny, too, if you appreciate an absurdist gem now and again:

Random Q: bang
Answer: Is not as good of an onomatopoeia as 'genitals'.

H/T: Zach Frechette (@ztf).

Presented by

The Blacksmith: A Short Film About Art Forged From Metal

"I'm exploiting the maximum of what you can ask a piece of metal to do."

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Video

Riding Unicycles in a Cave

"If you fall down and break your leg, there's no way out."

Video

Carrot: A Pitch-Perfect Satire of Tech

"It's not just a vegetable. It's what a vegetable should be."

Video

An Ingenious 360-Degree Time-Lapse

Watch the world become a cartoonishly small playground

Video

The Benefits of Living Alone on a Mountain

"You really have to love solitary time by yourself."

Video

The Rise of the Cat Tattoo

How a Brooklyn tattoo artist popularized the "cattoo"

More in Technology

Just In