Behold Ubisoft's new commercial for its randy new Wii game, We Dare. The game, which the company describes as "a sexy, quirky, party game that offers a large variety of hilarious, innovative and physical, sometimes kinky, challenges," is embarrassing enough, but the commercial actualizes all the worst things you could imagine from that description.
Here's how it goes down: After a nice dinner in their business casual attire, the four gamers get up from the table and head to the couch. Next thing you know, they're laughing uncomfortably and sort of making out with each other, or a Wii controller dangled between two of them, or both. Next up, the Wii is tucked into the back of one's pants, then (of course) that person drapes themselves over a teammate, who proceeds to spank them on the Wii. It's a flying game and you spank to acclerate!
Finally, we get to the denouement. What could it be? No?! A striptease game! That is hilarious, innovative and physical. The guys dance and eventually take off their shirts after which we're lead to believe that something NSFW or at least TV-M takes place, presumably a group sexual encounter.
If this scenario sounds improbable to you, you may be sober and may want to consider doing a dozen shots of Jagermeister and reading this again.
This commercial is so ridiculous that even YouTube's notorious awful commenters are making all too much sense in talking about the clip. FergustheJustifier had a point when he noted, "It's like an Orgy Starter Kit for ... 6-year olds. Ubisoft your reputation will never recover from this after all of the pre-teen heavy-petting parties hits the news." One can only imagine what might have happened at my middle school if this game had made its way into circulation among the cool kids. Yikes.