Celebrity Invention: Penn Jillette's Bathtub for the Ladies

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Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for patentsrichfamous_280(2).jpgSome celebrities aren't just pretty faces. A few of them are also touched with that Yankee prowess for tinkering and invention. In this weekly series, we introduce you to the Patents of the Rich and Famous. And maybe you learn a little bit about how patent literature works along the way.

Inventor: Penn Jillette

Known For:  He is Penn of Penn & Teller, that quirky magic duo that performs in Las Vegas and sometimes makes cameos on shows like Top Chef. He's the talky one. They also have a Showtime program called Penn & Teller: Bullshit! where they debunk pseudoscientific ideas and conspiracy theories--it's like a PG-13 version of MythBusters.

Penn is also very sexy. Have you seen that mane?

Or, at least he gets Liz Lemon going, as she noted in last night's 30 Rock, when lamenting her inactive sex life with current boyfriend Carol (played by Matt Damon):


Not even after Penn & Teller? Bummer.

Given Jillette's effect on women, it seems logical that he would patent an invention just for the ladies. Thanks, Jillette.

Invented Apparatus: "Hydro-therapeutic stimulator"

ladyTUB.jpg

At first glance, it looks like a bathtub. But then, you think, why is there a naked lady in that tub? And, what is that smirk on her face? Well, that's because this isn't just any old spa, it has a special function:

It is therefore an object of the present invention to provide a spa that includes a dedicated stream of fluid that is directed to specific sensitive areas of a female's genitalia to promote pleasurable (and perhaps climatic) genitalia stimulation and therapeutic relaxation.

It's a lady pleasure tub! While many baths incorporate water streams, Jillette's patent has a jet where it counts:

The spa has a seat for supporting the female user in a seated position, a circulation pump having an inlet connected to the tub for drawing water from the tub, and an outlet connected to the tub for discharging the drawn water back to the tub. A discharge nozzle is located within the tub and connected to the outlet, mounted to the seat so that the discharged water from the circulation pump automatically aligns with and is directed to stimulation points (e.g., the clitoris) of the female user when the female user sits in the seat.

He calls it the Jill-Jet. For Jill, by Jill(ette).

Rationale Behind Invention: Jillette saw a niche in the market. There were hot-tubs. There were other devices that could provide female stimulation. But there was nothing combining the two. Innovation!

Applicant has recognized a need for a hydro-therapeutic device that provides a dedicated stream of fluid to specifically stimulate the clitoris and labia of a female's vulva and provide supporting structure that allows the female user to comfortably position herself with respect to the fluid stream.

Apparently Blondie's Debbie Harry gave him the idea. But the man did some serious R&D to get the invention just right. We don't want to imagine what that process was like:

Applicant has discovered that additional outlet nozzles located in the seat and generally directed to the female user's genitalia is not as effective as a single nozzle directing a single stream of fluid to a specific stimulation point of contact (e.g., the clitoris). Multiple streams of fluid, although enjoyable, tend to desensitize the primary tactile nerve receptors located at specific points of a female user's genitalia.

Off Label Uses: This tub is already an off-label use for a bath. We can't imagine anyone repurposing the jet to, say, wash dishes.

Future Directions: If this is really a pleasure chamber for ladies, we bet users would appreciate other female-friendly add-ons. Perhaps a scented water selector, a rose petal injector, and maybe a waterproof touchscreen for online shopping.

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Rebecca Greenfield is a writer based in Brooklyn. She was formerly on staff at The Atlantic Wire.

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