Jared Diamond's new book shows that there are many ways to rear a child.
My nine-year-old has been begging me for a while to let him walk alone to his friend's house, half a block and two not-very-busy-street-crossings away. I finally let him do it, inspired in part by an anecdote from Jared Diamond's latest book, The World Until Yesterday: What Can We Learn From Traditional Societies?. Diamond is talking about his work among the traditional (or as he sometimes calls them, "small-scale") societies of New Guinea.
When I arrived at one particular village, most of the porters from the previous village who had brought me there left, and I sought help from people of any age capable of carrying a pack and wanting to earn money. The youngest person who volunteered was a boy about 10 years old, named Yuro. He joined me expecting to be away from his village for a couple of days. But...Yuro remained with me for a month...It was evidently considered normal that a 10-year-old boy would decide by himself to go away for an indeterminate length of time.
If a New Guinean kid could go wandering away from home for weeks at a time, I figured my son could probably go up the block.
Diamond's goal in The World Until Yesterday is (as his book's subtitle suggests) to compare modern and traditional societies and think about what the latter may have to teach the former. One of the main areas in which people in modern societies can learn from traditional societies, Diamond argues, is in the realm of childcare.
If, like me, you know a fair number of hippies, a lot of Diamond's suggestions (about long-term breastfeeding, for example) will be familiar. Still, it's interesting to see the way in which alternative practices here in the United States are standard operating procedure in small-scale societies, and may have been standard operating procedure for most humans across most of the globe not so long ago in evolutionary time.
For instance, among the !Kung of Southern Africa and other hunter-gatherer groups, nursing typically continues for three years or longer. Part of what makes this type of nursing possible is almost constant contact between mother and child, or at least between some adult and the child. "A cross-cultural sample of 90 traditional human societies identified not a single one with mother and infant sleeping in separate rooms," Diamond says. He concludes "that current Western practice [of separate rooms for mother and child] is a recent invention responsible for the struggles at putting kids to bed that torment modern Western parents."
Of course, there are aspects of traditional child-rearing practices that Americans probably wouldn't want to adopt. Infanticide, for one. For another, parents in some traditional societies often let their very young children play with fire and knives, with the predictable result that many infants burn and cut themselves.
Other practices, too, have downsides that Diamond doesn't fully explore. For example, long-term breast feeding isn't feasible for most working mothers in our culture. You could certainly try to pass policies to make it possible for women to have longer leave with their infants, and you can also try to change cultural mores to recognize that it's a valid and in some ways admirable choice for a woman to decide to be a stay-at-home mom. But surely it's also important to recognize that not all women want to breast feed their kids for three years. Women are no longer chained to their babies all the time: that may have downsides, but it's got definite benefits too, and we shouldn't forget the second just because the !Kung remind us of the first.