His "bombshell" announcement was an attempt to bribe the president into releasing his college transcripts. Yawn.

The months hours minutes of anticipation are over: Donald Trump's big news is here. After he promised that he'd rock the presidential race Wednesday at noon, there were plenty of rumors about what dirt the clownish, combed-over real-estate personality might have dug up on Barack Obama.

As it turns out, Trump appears to have mistaken Barack Obama for a character on Celebrity Apprentice, offering a donation to the charity of the president's choice if he performed a demeaning act, in this case releasing his college transcripts in return for $5 million. Who cares about Obama's transcripts, other than the right-wing fringe? No one, not even Trump, I'm confident. But he has a nose for getting attention, so there we are.

Of course, I'm playing right into Trump's clowning by writing this and giving him the attention he seeks. But what's even more amazing is the fact that people are still willing to take this guy seriously. Mitt Romney went to Las Vegas to receive his endorsement in person; he was invited to the Republican National Convention, although weather mercifully killed his appearance; and Paul Ryan appeared with him at a no-press fundraiser in New York last week.

As usual, The Onion nailed this one.