Polling From an Alternate Universe

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Because this universe has a liberal bias, conservatives have taken to writing Gallup fan-fiction. From Alex Pareene:

The UnSkewed Average has Romney at 51.8 percent and Obama at a mere 44 percent. How does the genius behind UnSkewed Polls go about unskewing all the polls -- like, for real, the vast majority of polls -- that show the opposite result? Well, Dean Chambers, the polling genius behind the site, simply "re-weights" every single national poll to reflect his belief that Republicans are undersampled, based on right-leaning pollster Rasmussen's partisan breakdown of the electorate. (Scott Rasmussen blurbs: "you cannot compare partisan weighting from one polling firm to another.") 

And obviously "re-weighting" every single poll to reflect an electorate made up of a plurality of self-identified Republicans also involves a bit of guesswork! Like, for example, sometimes polls don't include crosstabs, so Mr. Unskewed just assumes they're skewed with liberal media bias, and corrects accordingly.
It's very tough to accept that the Flagee and Ribbon are losing to a Kenyan anti-colonialist, but that's what's happening. Mother Jones effectively ended Mitt Romney's candidacy. It might have ended anyway. You can not Southern Strategize against half of the country. No amount of pivoting can clean this:
[T]he president starts off with 48, 49 .... I mean, he starts off with a huge number. These are people who pay no income tax; 47 percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn't connect. He'll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean, that's what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.
Saying that you were actually offering a critique of entitlements is like saying Jimmy the Greek was actually offering a plan to develop more African-American quarterbacks.
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Ta-Nehisi Coates is a national correspondent at The Atlantic, where he writes about culture, politics, and social issues. He is the author of the memoir The Beautiful Struggle.

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