Senator Paul:

I'm not for profiling people on the color of their skin, or on their religion, but I would take into account where they've been traveling and perhaps, you might have to indirectly take into account whether or not they've been going to radical political speeches by religious leaders. It wouldn't be that they are Islamic. But if someone is attending speeches from someone who is promoting the violent overthrow of our government, that's really an offense that we should be going after -- they should be deported or put in prison.

That would be me, I think. I've attended many speeches in which the violent overthrow of our government was promoted. Most of those speeches were in Beirut, and the speaker was Hassan Nasrallah, the head of Hezbollah. Actually, strike that -- I'm not sure if Nasrallah was advocating the overthrow of the American government, or simply the idea, if you can call it an idea, that America should die. But I'm splitting the difference here. So take me away, oh ostensibly-libertarian Kentucky senator! I'm ready to serve my time. Preferably not in the Bekaa Valley.