Where's Mitt Romney's Birth Certificate?

I'll admit this: I did not know that Mitt Romney is refusing to produce his birth certificate until I read a column by Joan Vennochi in today's Boston Globe blowing the lid off this important story. It turns out that we don't even know Mitt Romney's real name! And Romney's spokesman bobs and weaves like Muhammad Ali to avoid telling the truth and exposing this conspiracy! From Vennochi:

His first name is "Willard,'' after the hotel magnate J. Willard Marriott, his father's best friend.

His middle name comes from his father's cousin, who played quarterback for the Chicago Bears from 1925 to 1929. That cousin's name was "Milton'' and his nickname was "Mitt'' -- a totally understandable preference for a football player or a presidential candidate. But what does the birth certificate belonging to the presidential candidate actually state?

Four years ago, I asked Romney spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom to settle the matter.

"It's Willard Mitt Romney on the birth certificate,'' he replied, via e-mail.

Could I see it? I asked. "Sure. He was born in Detroit. City Hall should have it,'' he e-mailed back.

Birth records are restricted in Michigan and only a person or parent named on the record, or a legal guardian or representative can request a copy. "That shouldn't be a problem for an old reporter like you,'' Fehrnstrom responded. It was.

Long story short: Mitt Romney still has not produced a "certificate of live birth." And we know for a fact that as a young man he spent years living in a foreign country that looks down on America. A country that is intimately familiar with colonial thinking. I trust that the more than 1,000 people who posted comments on my story about Donald Trump and his "birther investigators,' and the 100 or so who sent urgent emails, are vigilantly working to bring this Romney conspiracy to light, and I just haven't realized it.