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You Win, Are Anointed King of the Tea Party.

Weeks go by without the federal government operating, but you find that the American people don't mind so much.91.png

Emboldened by your experience confronting the White House, you call a press conference and deliver a speech outlining what you call "fiscal reality." You nail it, and you take no questions afterward.

Eventually, the White House caves. You secure a deal to cut $55 billion from the federal government, and the bill includes no funding for Planned Parenthood or NPR.

Tea partiers go wild, hoisting you into the air as you leave the Captiol after the vote, rhythmically chanting "Boeh-ner! Boeh-ner!"

In a unanimous vote among Glenn Beck, Freedomworks Chairman and former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, billionaire libertarian financier David Koch, Ron Paul, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and the leaders of Tea Party Express and Tea Party Patriots, you are anointed King of the Tea Party.

You are presented with a crown and kingly robe, and a Kentucky thoroughbred on which to ride around while distributing fiscal justice.

You rule the tea party with a wise and judicious hand, convincing it that true leadership involves compromise. You are offered free meals at many restaurants throughout the land.

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Chris Good and Alex Hoyt

Chris Good is an associate editor and online politics writer for The Atlantic. Alex Hoyt does story research for The Atlantic and illustrations for TheAtlantic.com.

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