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You Strike a Deal, Become Best Friends with Obama, and Co-Star in a Buddy-Cop Film

"I like you, John," the president says. "Just keep those riders out of it. I like Planned Parenthood, and I listen to NPR."90.png

"Mr. President, you've got yourself a deal," you tell him.

The two of you stand, clasping hands firmly, and down what's left of the bourbon in your glasses. You emerge from the Oval Office to a disbelieving Cantor and a stunned cadre of White House aides.

At a joint press conference announcing the deal, your mutual affection is evident. You make jokes and pat each other on the back.

Miramax offers you a deal to co-star in a buddy-cop film entitled "D.C. Hustle, featuring Speaker and The Prez" with Seth Rogen cast as the rookie tag-along/comic-relief character.

The deal passes, and the government continues to function.

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Chris Good and Alex Hoyt

Chris Good is an associate editor and online politics writer for The Atlantic. Alex Hoyt does story research for The Atlantic and illustrations for TheAtlantic.com.

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