Choose Your Own Budget Adventure!

You are eaten by a Deficit Hawk.

The hawk pursues you around the grounds of the Capitol Building, while the Capitol Police look on in stunned amazement, figuring they have hallucinated.86.png

Years of cigarette smoking leave you winded, and you find you cannot outrun the hawk. Panting, you turn and try to reason with it.

"Listen, hawk, let's talk this over," you say, deploying the good-natured charisma that has won you success throughout your time in politics.

"SKWAAAAAAWWWWK!" the hawk replies. Its fiscal rage cannot be sated.

Your political career withers on a once-promising vine, as you lose reelection to a tea partier with little experience.

Presented by

Chris Good and Alex Hoyt

Chris Good is an associate editor and online politics writer for The Atlantic. Alex Hoyt does story research for The Atlantic and illustrations for TheAtlantic.com.

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