I mentioned last week my surprise that there seem to be a group of folks out there who believe the Kentucky head stomping never happened or that it was staged. "Stomping deniers," was what I called them, though others seem to prefer "Stomping truthers." Anyway, one email I received seemed to blame a vaguely LaRouchian, shadowy Canadian cabal of policemen, as best I could tell. Eager to learn more, I asked members to write--to help me blow the lid off this sinister cabal. The response was less than overwhelming. I guess they're still ironing out the finer points of the conspiracy. But I thought I'd share one colorful email after the jump (leaving it to readers to judge the veracity):

Leave it to a sniveling liberal who writes for the snootycake Atlantic to minimize the serious risk from the Canadians.

The stomping never happened.  Here's how I can prove it.  Look at the video in slow motion.  If you check out the frame where the alleged stomper actually touches the alleged head of the alleged stompee, you'll see that the alleged stomper is imbalanced.  The poor man was pushed by one of the stompee's confederates, who remained off camera.  The confederate: Canadian, beyond a doubt.  Again, you ask, how do I know?  Listen to the audio, man.  You hear a lot of shouting, but amidst the "ugh" and "ah" and "ow" you'll clearly here an "eh".  It's either a Jew or a Canadian.  (And I have nothing against my Jewish friends, so don't try to turn this into an antisemitic rant, either.)

So what do we have?  An obviously lesbian provacateur puts her face to the ground while a Canadian accomplice pushes an American patriot so that he APPEARS to stomp.  All to try to hurt Rand Paul in the election.  And who conveniently comes along but one Joshua Green (formerly Greenstein, I'll bet) to treasonously declare that the American is the bad guy.  Blame America First.  

You people.  It's enough to make ALL my friends imbalanced.  Soon you'll be making us wear purple in honor of the sodomites.  Thank the lord for the right to arm bears.