Lessons From Nader: How Not to be a Bully-Coward

Two days ago my colleague Ta-Nehisi Coates mentioned a lesson-of-the-ages I had passed along when he and I talked recently. Short version: don't write things about people you'd be afraid to tell them in person. This was of course tied to the episode of leaked email from David Weigel, formerly of the Washington Post. Let me say a little more about this, in full wisdom-of-the-ages mode having nothing to do with the current flap, because it took me a while to grasp the whole point.

When it comes to catty remarks involving friends or relatives, this is just a matter of  prudence and realism. If a "conscience" is the sneaking sense that somebody may be watching, proper email hygiene is the sense what you write to one person is going to end up... God knows where. Including in front of the person you least want to see it.

Ralph Nader 1970 1.jpg

The point about intentional, in-writing criticism is a little different. When I was in college I worked on a project for Ralph Nader, long before his days as a presidential candidate.  One evening he gave me his own graybeard lecture, from his venerable position as a man who had reached his mid-30s. (A picture from those days at left, though not by me.) He said that a really unattractive personality type was the journalistic bully-coward. That is, the person who breathes absolute fire when sitting at the keyboard, but skulks away nervously if he catches sight of someone he'd so fearlessly denounced from the writer's chair. Yes, this kind of person existed even before the blog age!

This obvious part of the message was: think about how you write. But the other part was: think about how you are. Nader very definitely did not mean that you should never criticize people harshly or in writing. He meant (to shift ethnic registers -- his background is Lebanese) that you should be a mensch about it. Minimize the gap between "to your face" versus  "behind your back" discourse. Be willing to encounter people you've criticized. 

No one fully eliminates the gap. Not many normal people enjoy the face-to-face meetings with those they've said harsh things about -- Andrew Sullivan's account of House of Commons-style verbal-combat kabuki notwithstanding. But I think both halves of that Nader recommendation are useful. Write as if you might run into the person afterwards. And when you run into people, be comfortable owning up to what you've said and where you disagree.*

* This model doesn't hold me back from criticizing people -- with one exception. I've reached the point where I won't write a book review unless I like the book. If I think a book is bad, I'll just say: Sorry, I don't want to write about this one. Creating any real book is hard and represents a significant effort and gamble on the author's part. Unless it's a dangerous piece of agitprop, or unless it's being widely praised for reasons I consider crazy, it's just not worth it to me to go through the exercise of saying how and why I think it falls short. Enough other people will do that; and besides, authors never forgive bad reviews. On the other hand, it's always worth criticizing public officials. That's part of the basic bargain in their line of work, and the consequences of what they do matter.
Presented by

James Fallows is a national correspondent for The Atlantic and has written for the magazine since the late 1970s. He has reported extensively from outside the United States and once worked as President Carter's chief speechwriter. His latest book is China Airborne. More

James Fallows is based in Washington as a national correspondent for The Atlantic. He has worked for the magazine for nearly 30 years and in that time has also lived in Seattle, Berkeley, Austin, Tokyo, Kuala Lumpur, Shanghai, and Beijing. He was raised in Redlands, California, received his undergraduate degree in American history and literature from Harvard, and received a graduate degree in economics from Oxford as a Rhodes scholar. In addition to working for The Atlantic, he has spent two years as chief White House speechwriter for Jimmy Carter, two years as the editor of US News & World Report, and six months as a program designer at Microsoft. He is an instrument-rated private pilot. He is also now the chair in U.S. media at the U.S. Studies Centre at the University of Sydney, in Australia.

Fallows has been a finalist for the National Magazine Award five times and has won once; he has also won the American Book Award for nonfiction and a N.Y. Emmy award for the documentary series Doing Business in China. He was the founding chairman of the New America Foundation. His recent books Blind Into Baghdad (2006) and Postcards From Tomorrow Square (2009) are based on his writings for The Atlantic. His latest book is China Airborne. He is married to Deborah Fallows, author of the recent book Dreaming in Chinese. They have two married sons.

Fallows welcomes and frequently quotes from reader mail sent via the "Email" button below. Unless you specify otherwise, we consider any incoming mail available for possible quotation -- but not with the sender's real name unless you explicitly state that it may be used. If you are wondering why Fallows does not use a "Comments" field below his posts, please see previous explanations here and here.

Does This Child Need Marijuana?

Dravet Syndrome is a severe form of epilepsy that affects children. Could marijuana oils alleviate their seizures?


Does This Child Need Marijuana?

Inside a family's fight to use marijuana oils to treat epilepsy


A Miniature 1950s Utopia

A reclusive artist built this idealized suburb to grapple with his painful childhood memories.


Why Principals Matter

Nadia Lopez didn't think anybody cared about her school. Then the Internet heard her story.


A History of Contraception

In the 16th century, men used linen condoms laced shut with ribbons.


'A Music That Has No End'

In Spain, a flamenco guitarist hustles to make a modest living.

More in Politics

From This Author

Just In