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AUTHOR: Thers of the classic "Cindy Lou Who Is a Corporate Whore" screed, now also available at Firedoglake


LENGTH: 262 words, block quotes excepted


THESIS: Jonah Goldberg is an idiot


RHETORICAL STEPS TO GET TO SAID THESIS: 4


STEP 1: "I hope I have never given the impression that I am a nice person. "


STEP 2: "I am in fact as it emerges and happens a shadowy figure with a tantalizingly enigmatic past about whom hangs an aura of tantalizingly enigmatic mystery--and Danger! Yummy Danger!"


STEP 3: "What I mean is, chicks dig me."


STEP 3, CLARIFIED: "With spades."


STEP 4: "Or, to be more precise, Jonah Goldberg is a tool--the Ace of Shits."


TRIGGER FOR SAID OBSERVATION: Goldberg's ill-advised decision to disparage John Kerry's presidential bid


GOOD QUESTION: "What on earth makes Jonah Goldberg confident that he is more likable, more clever, and less grating than, say, John Kerry? Or a razor blade strapped under an eyelid?"
BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND: "Anyhow, Goldberg is a fucking idiot."


FURTHER EVIDENCE AND PARTING SHOT:


here is Goldberg:

Better to be a called a crackpot than be one, I say.

In other words, when you have a Republican president encouraging a pointlessly violent and fiscally mysterious war, cool!

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.