Republicans Begin To Bracket Obama

A statement from the Republican National Convention: (No, literally... apparently, the metaphysical entity that is the convention challenged their collective wisdom through a spokesperson:)

“The Xcel Energy Center hasn’t hosted anyone who skates and flips as much as Senator Obama since the U.S. Figure Skating Championships were in town and the Minnesota Wild were eliminated from the hockey playoffs. We look forward to Senator McCain’s visit to Saint Paul in September, where he will accept our party’s nomination and offer a more substantive vision for leading America forward than the spectacle witnessed tonight.”

And from Katon Dawson, an actual human being, who is chairman of the South Carolina Republican Party:

“After the most divisive presidential primary in history, Democrats appear to have settled for the most inexperienced presidential candidate in history. But don’t take my word for it. Members of Barack Obama’s own party have criticized him for lacking the experience to lead on issues that matter most to Americans. If Barack Obama can’t unite his own party, we certainly can’t trust him to unite our country.”