In Defense Of Black On Black Violence

Trigger Warning: This post involves black people speaking a high yaller dialect of Ebonics. Proceed at your own risk. 

As all bourgie colored people surely know, Morehouse and Howard square-off on the football field this Saturday. The rivalry among HBCU football teams is a particular breed; the fact that most respectable blacks live but a couple paychecks from the projects can be quickly evidenced by the threats of weave pulling and wig-splitting which inevitably arise in any discussion over the matter.

In the virtual world this means peons, evidently aware of my celebrated status as a perpetual Howard super-senior sometimes decide to direct a bit of trash-talk my way.

@tanehisi I apologize in advance for what Morehouse is about to do to Howard!less than a minute ago via Twitter for Android Favorite Retweet ReplyLou Lord
thehumblebear

It's correct that Howard's football has fallen since the days of Jay "Sky" Walker. But let us not forget that a great HBCU should excel at producing men and women (at least in the case of Howard) who can always be said, without smirking, to be a credit to their sable race.

In that endeavor, I was recently perusing this comparison of Howard and Morehouse alumni. I admit that the competition seemed pretty close, and when I reached Dr. King, my faith in the great capstone of Negro education shook a bit...

And then I reached this particular specimen of vaunted Morehouse negritude:

"The political establishment is not going to elect Herman Cain. The political elite's are not going to support me," Cain said. "ABC, CBS and NBC they're still in denial that I'm even a legitimate candidate." 

And why do members of the media treat Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Wisconsin and former Republican Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin so "viciously"? "Because they know that Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin is going to draw a lot of the women vote away from the Democrat Party," Cain said. 

"They are scared to death of that, if they were to run and get the nomination. They are doubly scared that a real black man might run against Barack Obama."

Well then. To paraphrase Ebert, it is true Howard football hasn't been very good. But one day it will be. Herman Cain, however, will always be a Morehouse man.

Go Bison.

MORE: Showtime via actual HU alumna Shani HIlton.

MORE2: All kidding aside, this one fun. Shout out to The Humble Bear for bringing it back.