Left to right: Reuters/Wikimedia Commons, Reuters/Reuters
Who says August is a slow news month? Who says the last two weeks before Labor Day are uneventful and unstirring? With apologies to the Nails, and their classic song 88 Lines about 44 Women, here's a quick rundown on some of the big stories swirling around as we near the end of the summer holiday season.
Dominique at last may flee, he can't wait
for gay Paree
"Rescue Me," not much else I want to see
(Hum along to the tune)
Cyrus got a lucky break
, when New York's ceilings took to quake
Tiger's golf has gone to seed
, hits his balls in to the moat
Samuel just hung with
Indians, never be on their Totem Pole.
Ken at Interior cares not
for mustangs, he's a rancher after all
Sarah's been too quiet lately, maybe gearing up
Maria on court will be grunting, but most don't care for play-by-play
Eric at Justice saw some damage, when the quake hit hard that day
Andrew in London's having problems, no one wants
to see his play
Christine went nuts
on poor Piers Morgan, is his hacking depo set?
Peyton won't be starting soon
, so young Eli's all poor Archie's got
on the mound, Detroit could use some happy sound.
Jerry Leiber is also gone
, to his songs we pitched and wooed
Don't forget smooth
Nick Ashford, no mountain high enough for him
Ginny's gearing up
for battle, husband Clarence won't say boo
James from Okey he's a boomer, thinks global warming is small beer
Alex just back from injury, Yanks saddled
with this guy
Warren's patriotic about all taxes
, but BOA he just did buy
First Scarlett, then
Charlize, Ryan Reynolds ain't playing fair
Maria Shriver, here's a kiss. I chose you
to end this list.