Generalissimo sporting a tight caesar, and observing the machinations of his his black, black legions.

Gnikivar issues the manifesto, and all tremble at its ominous implications:

A true Coatesian is steadfast in his Opposition to haircuttery. Proudly proclaims Miracle Whip is Superior to Mayo.Uses of conversate and irregardless irregardless of the consekwences. And cucumber sandwiches. I'm not sure what our official policy is with regards to cucumber sandwiches but they're important. 

 Our mission is to help Generalissimo Coates and his mooslim scourge Total War armies conquer the world. Battle tactics, Financial derivatives, nuclear weapons, torture, and 19th century lighting, we now know everything necessary for global conquest. Our plans will soon come to fruition.

Indeed. All hail General Coates, and his glorious regime.