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Ross Douthat is a New York Times columnist.

Reihan: The Closest I've Ever Come to Riding a Bicycle

By Ross Douthat
Oct 1 2007, 10:41 PM ET Comment

During my 27 years on Earth, I've tried learning how to ride a bicycle about half a dozen times. My father made an attempt when I was very small, and many friends have tried in the years since, most recently this past summer. Somehow I've never been able to get it together. A few summers back, during a tremendously fun modern Orthodox (mOrthodox) wedding weekend I rode a tandem bicycle over the Golden Gate Bridge with one of my much taller friends. We were a spectacularly odd pair, and I failed to pull my weight. The pain in my midsection was, shall we say, uh, memorable. This past weekend, while horsing around with some cronies, I came upon this really neat piece of ephemeral public art, and I had no choice but to take advantage.

This photo is, er, at a kooky angle. Note that I'm carrying a can of Goya Frijoles Negros, one of my favorite foods. Rest assured, I did not snatch it from a food pantry. I did get some dirty looks.

Oh dude, I couldn't get this to work. Consider yourself spared from a powerfully disturbing image.

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