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PARTNERSHIPS
(5/20/95-6/2/95)

This contest is now closed. But enjoy!

(Click here to go directly to the winning entries.)

Honestly now, don't you think that the actors Jack and Peter should have gone in together on a fruit stand and called it "Lemmon-Sellers"?

And aren't you sorry that the famous comics Billy and Lucille never went into the fortune-telling business together as "Crystal-Ball"?

We know you care passionately about these ideal partnerships--so tell us about it in your entry (or more than one, if you wish) to this contest. E-mail us at CoxRathvon, identifying (in some order) the partners, the nature of their business, and the inevitable name of their joint enterprise. For example, your entry might say:

I hear the hockey player Brad and the astronaut Sally are starting up a limo service called--you guessed it--"Park and Ride."

The partners in your business may be any persons living or dead, so long as they are reasonably well known. (You want us to get the punch line, right?) We expect these joint ventures to consist of two people--but heck, if you can think of a three-way partnership, let us know!

We will continue accepting entries to Partnerships through Saturday, June 3. Results will be posted by Friday, June 9. A brand-new contest will start on Friday, June 2.

Okay, let's get down to business!

--EC and HR



PARTNERSHIPS Contest Results

(All names without @ symbols are AOL screen names.)

Funny what happens when famous people go into business together.

For one thing, as Naits, EnigmaGB, SkaterMan3, and Mystiq1 variously noted, a lot of leakey fawcetts get fixxed by Richard, Farrah, and Jim. (Ravensegg added that if Brook and Rip teamed up with Richard they would have "Benton, Torn, and Leakey Umbrella Repair.")

It was further noted by Sporty40 and Lawyerman that amateur typists or sleuths might benefit from Helen and Gregory's service entitled "Hunt and Peck."

We also heard of enterprises called "Cash Ann Carrey" (suggested variously by EnigmaGB, BDP Bruce, and CLIFFCAR) and "Knight and Day" (suggested by ShedPot and Alamarr). There were some medical centers operated by Payne, Burns, and/or Hurt, and a number of flood-relief services headed by people named Bridges.

Speaking of floods, the award for spewing out the greatest number of names in one breath goes to Ravensegg for the following inundation:

If Curt, Ricky, Andre, "Ma", Doris, Richard, George, Bilbo, Beau, Henry I, Edsel, and Henry II formed a company, they would not only have a corporate heading, but a product pitch as well: "Good afternoon, Flood, Watters, Rison, Rainey, Day, Gere, Sand, Baggins, Bridges and Fords, may we help you?"

Faced with choosing our three top favorites from among the dozens of entries we loved more or less equally, we resorted as usual to a wave of the wizard's fickle wand and a bow to the smiling goddess of Caprice. Congratulations to the talented trio of MJSpence, G8ly, and Naits, who will each receive 5 free AOL hours plus a book of his or her choice from the Atlantic's online bookstore. To all others, thanks for the laughs--and please keep 'em comin'!

***The Winners***

Looking for nostalgic entertainment for your next soiree? Singers Doris and Anita and Ari's mate Jackie pool their considerable resources to provide just that in their calypso-for-hire firm called--you got it mon- "Day O'Day O." (MJSpence)

In a most unusual venture, composer Sammy, philosopher Friedrich, and writer Evelyn have formed a partnership to fund a Welcome Wagon in Tokyo. Naturally it will be called "Kahn, Nietzsche, Waugh." (G8ly)

Senators Robert and Orrin now operate a business known as "Byrd Hatch"--an incubation service. (Naits)

***Our Other Favorites***

Al and Al might go into the coffee business together and open a stand named "Capp Pacino." (Mystiq1)

Martin and Bob have established "Short Cummings," a self-help group. (Xenda)

Martin has been involved in a venture with silent partner Robert. "ShortStack" is zeroing in on IHOP's famous pancake house. (Alamano)

With the advance of spiral staircase technology, Mark Vila has signed a 2-year contract to host a new partial home improvement show, say producers Fred & Steve. "AstaireCase" will premiere this summer! (Alamano)

Politician turned botanist, George has recruited major leaguer Pete in his floral madness! "RoseBush" plans to incorporate this month. Their only obstacle is Robert Plant who may begin litigation for soiling his good name. (Alamano)

Singer Eddie and Henry the 3rd are building a line of elite limousines made entirely of 14 karat gold. The cost is prohibitive; thus the company name, "CantorFord." (Alamano)

If the late composer Frank, the rapper Chuck, and the puzzle editor Will started an electrical contracting firm, it would be "Zappa D Shortz." (Landlord1)

If Actors James and Jeremy formed a sporting goods company, would it be "Woods & Irons"? (Landlord1)

Golf clubs manufactured by the four actors/actresses, Martin, Bette, Shelley, and Jeremy: "Short Midler and Long Irons." (BDP Bruce)

Square dance callers by singer Don and 20/20 host Hugh called "Ho Downs." (BDP Bruce)

A salad eatery by actor Lorne, inventor Alexander Graham, and senator Claude: "The Greene Bell Pepper." (BDP Bruce)

A Christmas shop by actors John and Michael: "The Candy Caine." (BDP Bruce)

A travel agency by aviator Orville and actors Vincent, Tom, and Dudley: "Wright Price Cruise and Moore." (BDP Bruce)

Travel consultants by actress Glenn and actor Jamie: "Close and Farr." (BDP Bruce)

A tailor's shop owned by Rip and Kim called "Torn Coates." (WMS111)

A boy's clothing store owned by Loretta and Alan called "Young Ladd." (WMS111)

A tackle shop owned by Carrie, Robert, Richard, and Kathy called "Fisher's Hooks, Gere, and Bates." (WMS111)

A locksmith shop owned by Sondra and Luke called "Locke and Keye." (WMS111)

Rumor has it that wine merchants Ernest and Julio have teamed with actor Cronyn and hockey legend Bobby to form the comedy troupe "Gallos, Hume, Orr." (JHFrancis)

I've heard that television journalist Mary and director John teamed up with husband and wife comedians Jerry and Anne (Meara) to form an alcoholic beverage manufacturing business in America's breadbasket. What's it called, you ask? Why ......."Hart Landis Stiller(s)" (TinLizzard)

Tori and Kelsey have started second careers as English tutors. The name of their business: "Spelling and Grammer." (Lady Lexie)

Elizabeth, Tanya, and Fran have decided to go into the fashion business. They run an alteration and dress shop called: "Taylor, Tucker, and Drescher." (Lady Lexie)

Lucille and Kirstie have started a bowling business. They call it: "Ball and Alley." (Lady Lexie)

Congressman Barney and writer Gertrude have formed a company to do research in artificial life forms. It will be called "Frank & Stein". (G8ly)

Senator Dick and Emily are now "Armey Post"--national security specialists. (Naits)

Playwright Oscar and actor Monty think that the carnival revival is at hand and that their midway ride construction firm is on its way to the Fortune 500. The name? Has to be "Wilde and Woolley." (MJSpence)

Dude ranches get outta the way! City slickers these days are heading to the range to be sheepherders for a day under the watchful eyes of "It Girl" Clara and noted diarist Samuel. Direct your reservation requests to "Bow Pepys." (MJSpence)

An aggressive new player in the collection agency game comes to town under the wings of two entrepreneurs--actor Tom and architect I.M. Their come-out-come-out-wherever-you-are company will be known as "Ewell Pei"! (MJSpence)

On the theory that less is more and having to make a choice is good for the soul, actress Samantha and actor Kevin announce the opening of their minimalist breakfast eatery, "Eggar Bacon." (MJSpence)

I hear that singers Courtney and Eddie are opening a wedding chapel in Las Vegas called "For Love or Money." (JStratis2)

Cook Julia, Supreme Court Judge Sandra, and actress Deborah opened up a center for kids called: "Child Day Kerr." (Gardenia)

If actor Vincent and comedian Steven started an advice column
they could name it "Price is Wright". (MAita4782)

Writer Buck joined with marshall arts expert Bruce and computer man Bill to start a redemption service "Pearl Lee Gates." (WalkinFeet)

Writer Jack and Actor Lloyd have recently acquired a European demolition/construction company called "London Bridges." (Kwacki)

Actor Hudson and Actress Esther hire themselves out as weekend DJ's as "Rock and Rolle." (Sporty40)

Actress Traci and sex expert Virginia open an S&M novelty shop called....."Lords and Masters." (Sporty40)

Comedians Joan and Gene guide whitewater rafters as..."Rivers Wilder." (Sporty40)

Actress Jodi and gourment cook Julia have teamed up as the unlikely managers of a new service that matches up troubled children with termporary parents. Their business is called "Foster Child." (Alamarr)

Vikki and Graham have started a valet service. Available for any event, large or small: "Carr Parker." (MadMom2)

The comic Johnson, and actors Connery and Orson discovered the healing power of "ArteSean Welles." (CLIFFCAR)

Did you know that the comedian Lucille, the hockey player Brad, and sportscaster Gifford created the "BallPark Frank"? (CLIFFCAR)

Sore-muscled athletes everywhere will appreciate the golfer Hogan and singer Marvin's creation "Ben Gaye." (CLIFFCAR)

The coffee shop actress Sandy and Blackboard Jungle star Ray have opened: "Duncan Donats." (EnigmaGB)

The soft drink invented by actress Imogene and German pol Helmut is called: "Coca-Kohl." (EnigmaGB)

Hamilton & Christopher have opened "Fish Fry," a seafood emporium. (ShedPot)


Copyright © 1995 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved.