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Enjoy a biweekly test of verbal tomfoolery. WWW fame is at stake! Confused? Read all about Word Games in this brief introduction. Brought to you by Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon, the creators of The Atlantic Puzzler.


Telegrammies

This contest is now closed. But enjoy!
(Click here to go directly to the winning entries.)



While people in the music industry are pondering nominations for Grammy awards, we wordplay fans must now get busy listing our favorite Telegrammies.

What? You've never heard of the Telegrammies? Well, just listen, and we'll explain how to transmit well-known songs by wire.

Lyricizing by telegram is expensive, so you need to economize. In fact, to play this game you must confine your singing telegram to a maximum of 12 words. And to avoid cluttering your message with short words, you must make each word at least 8 letters long! Operating within these parameters, your job is to convey the gist of a familiar song. For example:

PRECIPITATION TORRENTIAL. NEVERTHELESS VOCALIZING. MELODIES JUBILANT. RESPLENDENT EMOTIONS UNDAMPENED.

Did you recognize the happy strains of "Singin' in the Rain"? Here's another telegrammy, this one for the Baby Boomers in our audience:

MUNICIPAL GREENERY NOCTURNALLY DISINTEGRATING. BIRTHDAY COMESTIBLE LIQUEFIED! RECOOKING DIRECTIONS NONEXISTENT. ALACKADAY!

That time, as we hope you know, we were transmitting the lyrics of the immortal "MacArthur Park," a song in which a cake tragically melts in the rain (with, for some unfathomable reason, a complete dearth of recipes for starting over).

The idea here is not to mystify each other, but to make a familiar song recognizable in a wryly polysyllabic way. So as you play along, pick songs that are likely to be known by as many people as possible (folk songs, children's songs, big show tunes, major pop hits, etc.). Please include the title of your song somewhere with your entry, in case we fail to recognize the tune from your telegrammy.

Mail your entry to puzzles@theatlantic.com. Multiple entries are welcome, but for our convenience put your telegrammies in one piece of e-mail whenever possible (and please don't use attached files). Senders of our three favorite entries will each receive fame, glory, and an honored seat at a fabulous star-studded awards banquet -- either that, or a free book from The Atlantic Monthly.

Telegrammies will remain open through Friday, January 31. Winners and full results will be posted on Friday, February 7.

 -- HR & EC




Telegrammies Results

While it may be true that telegraphic communication has been susperseded by e-mail, the "singing telegrams" in this contest prove that the wire is still lively. We think Samuel Morse would be proud.

As often happens in these games, there were duplicates of good entries. In the quiz below, we've chosen one representative of each of 13 oft-repeated contest selections (the first one was the most popular tune of all). See how many song titles you can guess from these telegrammies. Answers follow immediately after the list.

1.) HYDROGEN/OXYGEN PRECIPITATION PARTICLES CONSTANTLY DESCENDING. RECOGNITIVE MECHANISM CONTAINER INVOLVED.

(Mypoet@aol.com)

2.) SCHOOLGIRL (COGNOMEN PARALLELS REDEEMER'S MATRIARCH), POSSESSED UNDERSIZED YEARLING DISPLAYING BLANCHED, SPIRALING DOWNINESS.

(Hunny3@aol.com)

3.) DESIRING INTERMANUAL INTERACTION. FEELINGS UNHIDEABLE. PRONOUNCE

GIRLFRIEND-BOYFRIEND RELATIONSHIP ACHIEVED.

(smbush@dcaccess.com)

4.) FELICITOUS ANNIVERSARY! RAPTUROUS ANNUALITY! GLORIOUSLY ENDEARING

PERSONALITY, JUBILANT CELEBRATORY ENJOYMENT!

(RussHeesch@aol.com)

5.) CIRCUMFERENTIALLY FASTENED TAWNY-COLORED BANNER-LIKE STREAMER DECORATES

ANTIQUATED HARDWOOD, SYMBOLICALLY COMMEMORATING RETURNEES.

(GARROBMIL@aol.com)

6.) INDIVIDUAL INFILTRATES SUBCUTANEOUS LOCATIONS, PENETRATES CARDIOLOGICAL

ORGANISM. NEVERTHELESS, DELIVERS ROMANTIC SATISFACTION.

(Softalker@aol.com)

7.) DIMINUTIVE ARACHNID ASCENDING SPILLWAY. DOWNPOUR. PROGRESS REVERSED.

ILLUMINATION EVAPORATES PRECIPITATION. ASCENSION REACTIVATED.

(Robmur@aol.com)

8.) EQUESTRIAN AMERICAN REVOLUTIONIST INFILTRATED POPULOUS COMMUNITY

ASTRADDLE SHETLAND.

(cbrink@binghamton.edu)

9.) ASSISTANCE NECESSARY! PERSONAGE REQUIRED. ASSISTANCE NECESSARY!

EXCEPTIONAL PERSONAGE REQUIRED. ASSISTANCE NECESSARY! UNDERSTAND?

(nbr@aretha.jax.org)

10.) BEREAVEMENT UNNECESSARY, ARGENTINIANS. FACTUALLY, PERSONAL PRESENCE

CONTINUOUS. CONSTITUENCY NEARNESS DESIRABLE.

(Rhr702@aol.com)

11.) SHIMMERING DIMINUTIVE CELESTIAL LUMINOSITY INSPIRES CURIOSITY.

(rickp@ormutual.com)

12.) ENCHANTED MYTHICAL CREATURE INHABITS OCEANFRONT DOMICILE CAVORTINGLY

APPROACHING ALLEGORICAL WONDERLAND'S AUTUMNAL HAZINESS.

(bonniet@pnn.com)

13. VOWEL-RICH RESPONSES PUNCTUATE AGRICULTURAL PRACTITIONER'S BARNYARD

MENAGERIE'S OMNIPRESENT VOCALIZATIONS

(ShedPot@@aol.com)

And now for the answers. Did you get them all? They were:

1.) "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head"

2.) "Mary Had a Little Lamb"

3.) "I Want to Hold Your Hand"

4.) "Happy Birthday"

5.) "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ol' Oak Tree"

6.) "I've Got You Under My Skin"

7.) "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"

8.) "Yankee Doodle"

9.) "Help!"

10.) "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina"

11.) "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"

12.) "Puff the Magic Dragon"

13.) "Old MacDonald"

Now that your brains (if not your vocal cords) are tuned up, here come our

three contest winners: mljones@willamette.edu, dmpw@water.net, and

RICH@rindge.fpc.edu. These were the telegrammers who most thoroughly

tickled our humeri. Each sender receives a free book from the Atlantic,

along with our lustily melodized thanks. Ready, set, sing!

***The Winners***

MONASTERY RESIDENT INTERROGATES SOMNOLESCENT ACQUAINTANCE, DETECTING

ANTEMERIDIAN TINTINNABULATION. (ONOMATOPOETIC DENOUEMENT.)

("Frere Jacques")

(mljones@willamette.edu)

OSCILLATE OFFSPRING ARBOREALLY. PROMINENT ISOBARIC FLUCTUATION PROVIDES

PENDULAR MOVEMENT.

("Rock-a-Bye Baby")

(dmpw@water.net)

SATELLITE OPTICALLY COLLIDING SIMULATING OVERSIZED PEPPERONI DELICACY;

MEDITERRANEAN INFATUATION!

("That's Amore")

(RICH@rindge.fpc.edu)

***And Other Favorite Telegrammies***

VALENTINO NAMESAKE'S LUMINESCENT PROBOSCIS OVERCOMES METEOROLOGICAL

MISFORTUNE, FACILITATES PHILANTHROPIC CIRCUMNAVIGATION. CAPTURES ADMIRATION.

("Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

(Softalker@aol.com)

ECCENTRIC SEPTUAGENARIAN INTERNALIZES MULTITUDINOUS ARTHROPODS. INTESTINAL

FORTITUDE UNNECESSARY; SEQUENTIALLY, PROVISIONS DISPATCH PREDECESSORS!

("There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly")

(hyatt@aimnet.com)

TERRITORIAL DOMICILE DESIRABLE. RUMINANT QUADRUPEDS ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES.

INFREQUENT NEGATIVISM. CELESTIAL DISTURBANCES NONEXISTENT.

("Home on the Range")

(Robmur@aol.com)

FELICITATIONS FIGURINE! ORIGINAL LOCATION GRATIFYING. APPEARANCE

OUTSTANDING. CONTINUED MOBILIZATION, MATURATION, ACHIEVEMENT OBSERVED.

("Hello, Dolly")

(Robmur@aol.com)

CONVICTED WESTERNER CONDEMNED. UPPERMOST APPENDAGE INCLINED DOWNWARD,

WEEPINGLY. DAYLIGHT HANGMAN'S CEREMONY APPROACHING.

("Tom Dooley")

(GARROBMIL@aol.com)

WATCHFUL FOREWARNING: EXCEPTING CERULEAN SOFT-NAPPED LEATHERY FOOTWEAR

ABRASIONS, ANYTHING ACCEPTABLE.

("Blue Suede Shoes")

(GARROBMIL@aol.com)

GRANDILOQUENT NATIONALISTIC PERCEPTION: HIGHLAND SOVEREIGNTY; CARYOPSIS

GESTICULATIONS; SPATIALLY CONNECTING OCEANICAL EXPANSES.

("America the Beautiful")

(GARROBMIL@aol.com)

PLEASANT TINKLING METALLIC VIBRATIONS. SINGULAR DOMESTICATED MAMMALIAN

HORSEPOWERING WINTERIZED CONVEYANCE.

("Jingle Bells")

(GARROBMIL@aol.com)

SIGHTLESS DORMOUSE THREESOME SPEEDILY FOLLOWED AGRICULTURALIST'S

SWEETHEART. POSTERIOR APPENDAGE AMPUTATIONS ADMINISTERED. EXTRAORDINARY!

("Three Blind Mice")

(rickp@ormutual.com)

DISAPPROVING PATRIARCH TERMINATES DAUGHTER'S ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.

DISTRESSED MOTORCYCLIST'S EXCESSIVE VELOCITY OCCASIONS FATALITY.

("Leader of the Pack")

(rickp@ormutual.com)

DECLINING SEPTUAGENARIAN DESCRIBES LIFELONG OPERATING PHILOSOPHY: PERSONAL

PREFERENCES PREVAILED THROUGHOUT.

("My Way")

(rickp@ormutual.com)

PROSPECTIVE SEXAGENARIAN SOLICITS ASSURANCES CONCERNING PERPETUAL

AFFECTION, DEPENDENCY, NUTRITION.

("When I'm Sixty-Four")

(rickp@ormutual.com)

FOLKSINGER FREQUENTLY PATRONIZED ECLECTIC TRACKSIDE RESTAURANT; ILLEGALLY

DISPERSED NONRECYCLABLES; CONSCRIPTION SUBSEQUENTLY PROSCRIBED.

("Alice's Restaurant")

(rickp@ormutual.com)

MINERAL-SATURATED SOLUTION SUBMERGES PRECIOUS SUBSTANCE EXTRACTOR'S

TREASURED OFFSPRING SPORTING OVERSIZED FOOTWEAR

("Clementine")

(ShedPot@aol.com)

SENTIMENTAL MEANDERING THOUGHTS ACCOMPANYING CELESTIAL NOCTURNAL HAPPENING.

VISIONARY REFLECTIONS.

("When You Wish Upon a Star")

(Mary@surfsouth.com)

COLORFUL PHENOMENON FOLLOWING ABUNDANT DOWNPOUR PRODUCING FANTASTICALLY

INDULGENT YEARNINGS.

("Somewhere Over the Rainbow")

(Mary@surfsouth.com)

UNGRAMMATICAL NAME-CALLING REPEATED DOGGEDLY. UNFRIENDLY ATTITUDE

CONTINUALLY PARAPHRASED.

("You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog")

(Mary@surfsouth.com)

FEMINISTICALLY ENAMOURED. POSITIVELY POSITIVELY POSITIVELY.

("She Loves You")

(godfree@magi.com)

SUPERIORLY POSITIONED. ANCIENTLY PARTIALLY COMBUSTING. UNIVERSALLY

EMBLANKETED. CRYOGENICALLY PRESERVED PRECIPITATION.

("On Top of Old Smokey")

(godfree@magi.com)

COLLECTIVELY INHABITING BUTTERCUP ENAMELED SUBMERSIBLE TRANSPORT

("Yellow Submarine")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

DISPLAYED EXERTION, SPENDING EXTENDED INTERVALS, REFURBISHING

TRANSCONTINENTAL PATHWAYS

("I've Been Workin' on the Railroad")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

SUSPENSION PLATFORM TRAVERSING DISQUIETED RESERVOIRS

("Bridge Over Troubled Water")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

HERCULEAN SENORITAS DENOUNCE SNIVELING

("Big Girls Don't Cry")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

ESTABLISH INDIVIDUAL PERICRANIUM TOUCHING PERSONAL COLLARBONE

("Put Your Head on My Shoulder")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

RESONANCE DENOTING NOISELESSNESS

("The Sounds of Silence")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

EXPLORING SWEETHEART-ABANDONMENT TECHNIQUES? OFFERING CONSIDERABLE

(CENTENARY, BISECTED) PROPOSALS

("50 Ways to Leave Your Lover")

(Hunny3@aol.com)

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS CHRONICLED. CONFLAGRATION IGNITION DISCLAIMED.

("We Didn't Start the Fire")

(smbush@dcaccess.com)

CHRISTMAS MISSIVES' ASPIRATIONS: FROSTILY BLANKETED LANDSCAPES PREVIOUSLY

SIMILARLY EXPERIENCED.

("White Christmas")

(smbush@dcaccess.com)

FOCUSING COGNIZANCE DARLINGWARDS. SENTIMENT REPEATED NAUSEAWARDS.

("Got My Mind Set on You" by George Harrison)

(smbush@dcaccess.com)

PREVIOUSLY PROBLEMATIC PERSONAL QUANDARIES APPEARED APPARENTLY EXPATRIATED.

("Yesterday")

(Mypoet@aol.com)

ROTATING STEERING MECHANISM ABSOLUTELY REQUIRES REVOLUTION

("Spinning Wheel")

(Mypoet@aol.com)

DEFINITIVE MEDIEVAL DIABOLISM RESTRAINS PERSONAL LIBERATION. ENCHANTMENT

RESPONSIBLE.

("That Old Black Magic")

(Mypoet@aol.com)

ESCALATE ELEVATIONS EXHAUSTIVELY. TRAVERSE WATERWAYS SWEEPINGLY.

ILLUMINATED SPECTRUMS SHADOWED, SUSPENDING ENVISAGEMENT PROCURED.

("Climb Every Mountain")

(mrudis@goshen.net)

UNDESIRABLE SATELLITE CLIMBING! UNHAPPINESS ANTICIPATED! EARTHQUAKES,

LIGHTNING WORRISOME! DISCOURAGE NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES!

("Bad Moon Rising")

(LeonardJK@aol.com)

CONTEMPLATING BOTTLING TEMPORAL EXPERIENCES. INITIALLY DESIRING CAPTURING

INDIVIDUAL CALENDAR SEGMENTS. RELIVING CONNUBIALLY.

("Time in a Bottle")

(LeonardJK@aol.com)

VISUALIZING IMPOSSIBLE HAPPENING, UNDERTAKING HOPELESS ENGAGEMENT,

WITHSTANDING UNENDURABLE HEARTACHE: SELF-IMPOSED ADVENTURE.

("The Impossible Dream")

(LeonardJK@aol.com)

DISEMBARKED KNOCKABOUT. GRANDFATHER ACCOMPANIED. WANDERED NORTHEAST

TOWNSHIP. THEREFORE, IMPLEMENT CANVASES; READJUST MAINSAIL.

("Sloop John B.")

(LeonardJK@aol.com)

SUPERNATURAL PERSONAGE PROVIDES EXEMPLARY FORTRESS. PERSONAL ARMAMENT

VICTORIOUS. OPPRESSION DESTROYED. SALVATION ACHIEVED.

("A Mighty Fortress")

(LeonardJK@aol.com)

BASEBALL OPPORTUNITY REQUESTED. CRACKERJACKS, ETCETERA DESIRABLE. RETURNING

UNIMPORTANT.

("Take Me Out to the Ball Game")

(Rhr702@aol.com)

HOT-RODDING GRANDMOTHER BLISTERS PASADENA PAVEMENT, HUMILIATING YOUTHFUL

UPSTARTS.

("Little Old Lady from Pasadena")

(Stigger4@aol.com)

PRECIPITOUS NUPTIALS; UNNECESSARY BENEFICENCE; PROVERBS UNHEEDED:

UNLIKELY COMPUTATION.

("Ironic" by Alanis Morissette)

(rkclark@netusa1.net)

WICHITAN ELECTRICAL TECHNICIAN REQUIRES SABBATICAL. UNFORTUNATELY,

PRECIPITATION UNLIKELY. CONTINUES OVERLOAD WATCHFULNESS.

("Wichita Lineman")

(eric@thestranger.com)

PRECIPITATING MASCULINE PERSONAGES. HALLELUJAH!

("It's Raining Men")

(eric@thestranger.com)

MOUNTAINS VIVIFIED. BEAUTIFUL INTONATION RESONATES.

("The Sound of Music")

(RMANGAN@uci.edu)

BOULDERED ELEVATION EUPHORIA.

("Rocky Mountain High")

(RMANGAN@uci.edu)

EXISTENCE IMPOSSIBLE REGARDING COMMERCIAL ENTERPRISE RIVALING ENTERTAINMENT

INDUSTRY.

("There's No Business Like Show Business")

(WHuntley@L2.lonet.ca)

IMPERATIVE MEMORANDUM: OSCULATION IMMUTABLE; EXHALATION UNCHANGED;

INVARIANTS CONTINUOUSLY RELEVANT.

("As Time Goes By")

(ajw@usa.net)

LILLIPUTIAN ALBUGINEOUS TERMINOLOGICAL INEXACTITUDES

("Little White Lies")

(BOBVL@aol.com)

CARBOHYDRATES. POSSESSIVE CONFECTIONS COMPELLING AFFECTION. RESULTANT

DELICIOUS OSCULATORY SENSATIONS.

("Sugar, Sugar" by the Archies)

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

DELICIOUS. DIGESTING ROMANTIC EMOTIONS.

("Yummy, Yummy, Yummy" by the Ohio Express)

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

OCTOGENARIAN CAVORTING SINGULARLY, HITCHHIKING. SEPTAGENARIAN INTERPRETING

DUPLICITOUS PEDESTRIAN APPLIANCE

("This Old Man")

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

NON-COMMISSIONED JALAPENO BACHELORS ASSOCIATION ORCHESTRA. PERFORMANCE

ACCOLADES ACCEPTED. DOMESTIC ENTERTAINMENT DESIRABLE.

("Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band")

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

UNFORTUNATE INDIVIDUAL PERPETUALLY TRANSPORTED UNDERNEATH MASSACHUSETTS

METROPOLIS.

("M.T.A")

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINEER ENCOUNTERS PETROLEUM, PROMPTING CALIFORNIA RELOCATION.

(Theme from "Beverly Hillbillies")

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

STROLLING SIBERIAN SNOWSCAPE, CARRIAGE TINTINNABULATION, CRYSTALLINE

DIHYDROGEN-OXIDE SCINTILLATES. NOCTURNAL SNUGGLING, SCHEMING. EUPHORIA!

("Winter Wonderland")

(peter.n.horne@boeing.com)

LUMINOUS TRIBUTARY

MEASURED METRICALLY

TRAVERSING MODISHLY EVENTUALLY

NIGHT-HUNCHER CARDIAC-CRUNCHER

FOLLOWING "ARCIRISI" ETERNALLY

("Moon River")

(bbarry@az.com)

VISUALIZING EVENTUALLY, CROCODILIAN REPTILIAN. CONSEQUENTLY, LIZARDLIKE

AMPHIBIAN.

("See You Later, Alligator")

(KayBTucker@aol.com)

ATTRACTIVE UNFAMILIAR GENTLEWOMAN, OBLIQUELY PERAMBULATING THOROUGHFARE

("Pretty Woman")

(KayBTucker@aol.com)

DWINDLING RADIANCE ENMESHING VERMILION CANVASES

("Red Sails in the Sunset")

(Liz533@aol.com)

CHERUBIM CROONING: "NEONATAL POTENTATE BETOKENS TERRESTRIAL CONSONANCE,

PALLIATIVE CLEMENCY, ALMIGHTY-MISCREANT INDEMNITY."

("Hark! The Herald Angels Sing")

(djunger@umich.edu)

SEPTEMBER'S EQUINOCTIAL ACTIVITY MANIFEST. LOCATION: MANHATTAN. QUERYING

METROPOLIS REGARDING WELCOMING SENSATION.

("Autumn in New York")

(Mary_Cresse@zd.com)

REQUESTING INFORMATION REGARDING ANGLOPHONES' UNSATISFACTORY LINGUISTIC

INSTRUCTION.

"Why Can't the English")

(chrosen@scifac.indstate.edu)

MELODIOUS PUCKERING CHEERFULLY DISGUISES INSECURITIES. DECEPTION SUCCESSFUL.

("I Whistle a Happy Tune")

(73211.1602@CompuServe.COM)

ENORMOUS DIVERSITY ACKNOWLEDGED. MINIATURE UNIVERSE NEVERTHELESS.

("It's a Small World")

(73211.1602@CompuServe.COM)

CONTINENTAL POSSESSION UNIVERSAL. RESPLENDENT FEATURES TRAVERSED LOVINGLY.

("This Land Is Your Land")

(73211.1602@CompuServe.COM)

MASCULINE COMPANION INITIATED NOCTURNAL BALLROOM ACTIVITY. EMOTIONS

AIRBORNE. PLEADING NEVERENDING REPETITION.

("I Could Have Danced All Night")

(73211.1602@CompuServe.COM)

HYDROGRAPHIC DENIZENS NAVIGATE. FEATHERED VERTEBRATES VOLITATE.

LIFELONG MONOGAMOUS AFFECTION REQUIRED. RESISTANCE IMPOSSIBLE.

("Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man" from "Show Boat")

(mlwilson@earthlink.net)

MATRIARCHALLY CROSS-DRESSED JUVENILE REBELLIOUSLY PROCLAIMS MASCULINITY.

REQUESTS PERSONAL SANGUINE OUTPOURING.

("I'm a Boy" by The Who)

(acooper@csir.co.za)

ACOUSTICALLY CHALLENGED INARTICULATE VISUALLY HANDICAPPED YOUNGSTER'S

TRIUMPHANT USURPATION DEMORALIZES PASTIME'S PREVIOUS SOVEREIGN.

("Pinball Wizard" by The Who)

(acooper@csir.co.za)

FOLLOWING DISSENSION, MADEMOISELLE REJECTED COMMUNICATION. INSCRIPTION

RETROCEDED: INDICATING NONEXISTENT INDIVIDUAL, NONEXISTENT VICINAGE.

("Return to Sender")

(conko@cei.org)

PERSONALLY EXHAUSTED. MOREOVER, THANATOPHOBIC. CONTRARIWISE, ANTEDILUVIAN

PATRIARCH INEXORABLY MAINTAINS WATERCOURSE.

("Ol' Man River")

(Ingbobl@aol.com)

BIBLICAL MANIFEST:

POWERFUL MEDIATOR

WELCOMES HUMILITY,

EMBRACES CHILDREN.

("Jesus Loves Me, This I Know")

(TBWSalinas@aol.com)

CERULEAN RADIANCE OBSERVED ECLIPSING ALTERNATIVES, UNPRECEDENTED

PHOTOSPHERE OPTIMIZING EVENTUALITIES, AMOROUSNESS ACCELERATING CHRONOLOGY.

("Blue Skies")

(Someoldguy@msn.com)

CONFECTION CONFECTION CONFECTION CONFECTION, CONFECTION CONFECTION

CONFECTION CONFECTION, CONFECTION CONFECTION CONFECTION CONFECTION.

("Lollipop")

(Someoldguy@msn.com)

DOMICILED, UNNURTURED, ILLUSTRATING VICTORIOUSLY. RECENTLY ARTICULATE.

DOWNTRODDEN, OVERCOMING, VIOLENTLY RETRIBUTIVE. RECENTLY ARTICULATE.

("Jeremy" by Pearl Jam)

(Someoldguy@msn.com)

IMPULSIVE CUSTOMER INQUIRES STOREKEEPER CONCERNING LABRADOR FEATURING

OSCILLATING APPENDAGE, REQUESTING MONETARY QUANTIFICATION.

("How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?")

(mljones@willamette.edu)

REPEATEDLY PROPELLING WATERCRAFT LANGUOROUSLY DOWNRIVER. JOCULARITY

REITERATED. EXISTENCE ETHEREAL.

("Row, Row, Row Your Boat")

(RICH@rindge.fpc.edu)

CIRCUMNAVIGATING MULBERRY SHRUBBERY, CHIMPANZEE PURSUING FERRETLIKE

MAMMALIAN. PRIMATIAL ENTERTAINMENT, MUSTELINE ERUPTION.

("Pop Goes the Weasel")

(RICH@rindge.fpc.edu)

AMOROUSNESS SUFFICIENT (REPEATEDLY)

("All You Need Is Love")

(RICH@rindge.fpc.edu)

GREETINGS MARILOUISA. FAREWELL PERICARDIAL INTEGRITY.

("Hello Mary Lou")

(dmpw@water.net)

PHYSICAL GRATIFICATION UNOBTAINABLE NOTWITHSTANDING EXHAUSTIVE

IMPORTUNITIES. NEGATIVE NEGATIVE NEGATIVE.

("Satisfaction")

(dmpw@water.net)

UNIVERSAL EXISTENTIAL PERCEPTION. STRATOSPHERIC EQUINOCTAL EUPHORIA

CONTRASTS SUBSEQUENT DEPRESSION.

("That's Life")

(dmpw@water.net)

REPEATED SALUTATIONS. NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES DIMINISH ATTENDANT

PRECARIOUSNESS. ARRIVALS COMPLETED, SUBSEQUENT AMUSEMENT EXPECTED.

("Smells Like Teen Spirit")

(David_Honigmann@mckinsey.com)

INSOMNIA OVERMASTERS POPULACE! ENAMOURED DECIPHERER PROGNOSTICATES

MATUTINAL PREDOMINANCE.

("Nessun dorma, ..., all'alba vincero,... "

No-one shall sleep, ..., at dawn, I shall win,...

Aria from Turandot by Puccini)

(k.marion@rmit.EDU.AU)



Copyright © 1997 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved.