In this game, you may unburden your troubles. That is, we want you
to use at least **10 words** to write a sentence, poem, dialog,
headline, or quip that tells of some troubles (yours or somebody
else's)--preferably of a comical nature.
But here's the stopper. Every word in your composition must have a
set of doubled letters ("stopper" for example having a set of doubled
"p"s and Letters a set of doubled "t"s), and no set of doubled
letters may be repeated in your composition. For instance:
Hurry off, keen-witted tale-tellers! Giddily scribble dazzling,
funny-gloomy bummer accounts!
DOUBLE TROUBLE Contest Results
(All names without @ symbols are AOL screen names.)
When we asked you to write a trouble-filled message of at least ten
words with each word bearing a unique set of doubled letters, we
expected to hear a lot about Hawaii, Henry Aaron, buzzing bees, vacuum
cleaners, trekking hajjis, and donners of skivvies. But many of you
racked your brains to find words, phrases, and names that defied all
expectation. Our sympathies go to overworked contestant Rickwins, who
"Aardvark"? "Powwow"? "Exxon"? Sleep-deprived wannabe
puzzle-solver's letter-fixated. Proof? Throbbing skull!
A similar lament came from contestant BLRygg, one of whose entries
"Twinned letters beggar buzzword supply," bellows
Hajji, bizarre bazaar bookkeeper. "Accordingly, addled assignment
Given the obstacles, perhaps it's not surprising that only two
people succeeded in using all 26 letters of the alphabet in doubled
sets. Doing so was bound to strain both vocabulary and sense, but
intrepid gamers Guy and G8ly managed to meet the challenge admirably,
with similar themes:
Savvy Wahhabite sayyid, accompanying Shiite muezzin,
Shawwal. Passing Saqqara Exxon, three Sunni muggers suddenly
appeared, robbed Muhammadan duumvir, carried off moolah, scuttling
hajj. Salaam! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
And then there was RevMJK to contend with. He had the... shall we
say, nerve... to submit the following:
(Guy adds: "Saqqara Exxon is, of course, a gas station there, famous
for its low prices and good service.")
Glowworms illuminated Exxon employees hurrying salaaming Hajjis
trekking across Mecca. Jabbering Iraq-Qatar chauffeurs hooted diiambic
opprobrium. Roughhouse tuuk-wielding cutthroats commanding hidden
gayyous chivvied innocent muzzy stragglers. (G8ly)
Vvery iinexpensive kkeyboard
sseems tto bbe mmalfunctioning,
aalbeit qquite cconveniently.
Yyou gget thhe iddea...
Combinations of humor and originality finally determined our three
winners. Contestant BLRygg managed to condense a famous tragic drama
by Hathaway's husband into sixteen words, not omitting any of the major
characters! Kudos also to RevMJK and AM MAD0623, whose entries
elicited giggles and hoots from the puzzle emcees. Each of these
winners will receive 5 free AOL hours plus a book of his or her choice
from the Atlantic's online bookstore.
***Our Three Winners***
Puzzling, haggish yakkers, revving queen, spook, womb-ripped Macduff
all harry guilt-ridden Scottish successor; Anne's hubby commemorates.
Dropped ball peen hammer.
--Buddy "Buzzy" Griggs II
Suddenly, full-figured Peggy's hurriedly donned brassiere unhooked,
accurately snapping sleeping hubby Sammy's fuzzy butt.
***And Our Other Top Favorites***
Savvy Hawaiian fuzz arrayed hidden netting across Ka'anipali channel
nabbing sniggler accomplices trolling common fishhooks, ripping off
eels. (G8ly) (G8ly adds: "I wanted to put them in muumuus, but that
would be silly.")
Pussycat Toonces accelerated Bubba's cammed Corvette suddenly, veering
raggedly offroad, revving terrifically, frazzling Winnebago trekkers'
happy powwow. (GumpForrst)
Scrappy little piggies tell flabbergasted planning commission: "Sorry,
additional occupational huff-proofing needed!!" (Ravensegg)
Hollywood buzz: addled Dennis Hopper, undressed, slugged three
insufferable filmmakers. (Rickwins)
Cooked unappetizing dinner: soggy bell pepper, desiccated beef, rubbery
Albee's bummed: narrow-minded scribblers panned "Woolf" effort:
"sluggish," "muddled," "rotten." (Rickwins)
Uncool jazz drummer, oddly muttering Yiddish, fluffs three Ellington
Planned dazzling Tiffany robbery. Whoops! Current address: cellblock
nineteen, Attica. (Rickwins)
"Apprehend Hubby Jeff, Thuggish Goon Following Sudden Kerrigan Knee
"Planning accelerated resettlement following Gramm-Farrakhan sweep.
Russia suddenly looks appealing!" (Rickwins)
"Spliff-toking, dread-tressed reggae dubber hallucinates three adders
occupying snood innards." (Rickwins)
Innumerable espressos followed supper. Feeling jittery, buzzed,
maddened. Tomorrow? Gimme eggnog. (StefSpad)
Gramm arrived grinning: teeth off-color, unflossed, blebby, egg-coated,
rotten-smelling, tobacco-riddled--goodbye, appetite! (Glemward)
Isaac, drubbing Exxon,
Looked oddly appeased
Yelling canny comment:
"Rotten Esso Bees!"
Panning overstuffed classes, Aaron's Middlebury application suggested
trimming enrollment; school seemingly concurred, withholding acceptance
Innovative jazz bassoonist bebopped merrily between riffs, maddening
mummified piccoloist. (Alums48454)
Bitter Greek nagger Xanthippe, squabbling endlessly, finally doomed
marriage irrevocably. (Beccas123)
Savvy Hillary nagged hubby, snubbing soddish attitudes, smoothly
assuring meekness. (Beccas123)
Excessive Maalox immediately loosened Exxon veep's unwilling innards,
effectively stopping star-studded Hawaiian powwow. (MarksCS)
Hurriedly hemmed Apollo Thirteen apparel suddenly tattered, muffing
Moroccan manned moon mission. (MarksCS)
Boffo hippos battled annoying Achilles heels, toddling passively.
Grizzled squirrels hobbled doggedly too, accumulating lemmings.
Betty's irrefutably stunning boobs effectively immobilized Eddie.
Peggy slapped hapless hubby's cheek. Sizzling accusations followed.
Grinning fuzzily, Tommy happily chugged three bottles, messily
hiccoughing booze. Arresting officers nabbed hellbound Caddy.
Innumerable beers chugged, bladder full, massive wetting imminent,
bathroom occupied. (Unhunk)
Afrikaaner cobblers accept added fees Kaffirs doggedly, high-handedly,
collectively, summarily announced sooner, opposing garrulous puzzled
dissenting Trekkies attending. (email@example.com)
Skiing buffs, especially canny new-wave cash-hungry Afrikaaner
trekkies, happily toboggan too, carrying dazzling odd green
accoutrements, commonly getting clobbered. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Skiing dazzlingly downhill, Buddy slammed trees stubbornly. Fitted
coffin unnecessary. (LostnAustn)
Salaaming sunnily, Bobbie unwittingly vacuumed furry balls off Tommy's
poodle's feet. (LostnAustn)
Hawaiian strippers accentuate mammoth sagging boobs, flabby bellies,
massive buttocks. (SPMCKENZIE)
Cellist's offkey staccato flabbergasts Pittsburgh's Maazel; talentless
fiddler currently kazooing. (Majeanoir)
FDA-approved blood pressure pill affects bladder, recurrently breeding
soggy attire. (Majeanoir)
Lottery winner suffers concussion flipping cartwheels; correcting
throbbing noggin guzzles millions. (Majeanoir)
Doffing grubby horn-rimmed glasses, greenhorn Buddy Holly misarranges
Little Piggy Zoo. (Majeanoir)
Spreadsheet spills corrupt businessman's shabby accounting patterns;
officer recommends soggy noodle whipping. (Majeanoir)
Moneyless Madonna maddeningly moonlights midweek modelling mulberry
moccasins, Muppets mittens, monogrammed mufflers. (Majeanoir)
Bellicose Akkadian, canned summarily, apparently chooses bizarre
attire: brass skivvies. (email@example.com)
Baffled bookworm approaches celluloid-cyberspace errantly, freezes
channels intermittently, muddling egghead's programming. Access
Gorilla Monsoon, fuzzy speechmaker, occasional announcer, immediately
embarrassed huffy grappler. (Daasek)
Buggy zookeeper swills iffy bottle, stammers terribly, hobbles
Bedridden, daffy Patty Penny swooned sleepily, humming bubblingly
eccentric chart-stoppers. (Yesrad)
Frazzled swimmers continually doggie paddle; succeeding bubbles stopper
pool gutters. (CallCS)
Bookkeeper's accidental addition errors assured utter dollar vacuum,
imminent ennui. (Mnussbaum)
Brainless cook offered smelly cheddar cheese, rotten broccoli, soggy
pizza, rubbery snapper. (Mnussbaum)
Seeing Momma cooking broccoli, Gabrielle attempts missing dinner.
Efforts stopped, Gabby vacuums additional horrible veggies
Trekking Exxon franchisee cooked stuffed peppers, bitter curry,
broccoli Hollandaise, gummy slowworm pudding, blubber pizza, aardvark
casserole. Savvy Hawaiian trash-hauler suggested vacuuming innards.
Stiff breezes suddenly rippled lass's pantaloons occasioning
rubberneckers' flattering comments. (Alums48454)
Accountant Peggy Embezzles Bookstore! Tennyson Missing! Whittier
Sullied! Coffers Fleeced! (RHorton508)
Worried bookie's annual summer folly--embezzling addicted bettors'
"missing" accounts. (PiratKing)
Cordless Vacuum Kills Teen. Sheriff Suggests Hoover Accident Planned.
Recommends Interrogation. (TDarsey)
Tell's arrow snagged apple off accountant's ruddy butt! Community's
savvy announcer blabbered, "Asset's been goosed!" (SimiP)
Moonstruck lass succeeded flattering immensely irresistible villain;
dapper Reggie revved, effectively winning Lizzie.
"Vacuum's" savvy collapses; Brooks bobbles, commits three puzzling
errors. Befuddled bosses powwow, yakking:
Giggling opposing batters cannot withhold guffaws.
Aaron babbled accolades adding breezy affectations, aggressive Hawaiian
hitchhiker allayed yammering announcer. (HALaw)
"BEACHHOUSE POWWOW?: Revved-up puzzle-obsessed budding cartoonist seeks
bubbly, carrot-topped, long-legged, full-figured swimmer offering
winning attitude, Puccini, skiing." (EnigmaGB)
Accountant embezzles. Currency disappears. Penniless. Kill
bookkeeper. Attorney ineffective. Immured. (LesDan)
Steinbrenner scuttles Yankee renaissance. Followers aggrieved.
Opponents guffaw. Good riddance! (LesDan)
Rookie batters ineffective. Sluggers needed. Apply immediately.
Addicts accepted. Call Steinbrenner. (LesDan)
Livelihood loss occurrences aggrandize supplicating utterances,
especially "wheedling," "quibbling," "schnozzling." (Valandy)
Terribly uncoordinated basketball dribbler, tripping across teammate's
tennies, baffles referees. (M2ME)
Gracefully running ragged, Ross attacked Sammy's worrisome pooch,
robbing sapphire studded collar. (KarolKim)
Dizzy Dallas staggered across Sammy's scruffy saloon, stuttering
"Surrender sheep!" (MCauffman)
Toddlers attacking horror-stricken mommy--runny, snuffly booger
hell--Kleenex supply ebbing--helplessness... (Waynwright)
See unhappy aardvark
DDS plugged abscessed tooth
Sammy's loose Speedo slipped maddeningly. Frantically scurrying, Sonny
accepted jazzy leggings, babbling affably. (JDPhilpott)
Puddling babblers: drooling, announcing messy nappies, teething
tizzies, clutter, eggy accidents; affecting all harried Mommies.
Barry kissed Betty's egg balloon effecting happy puddle bubble
Reckless Bobby accidently spilled egg cheese annoying happy little
Johnny Appleseed babbled boozy ballads off-key giggling merrily across
Buzz speedily dropped offensive poop, littering access, spurring
immense hollering. (VBalson)
Letter accuses addlepated teenager: "Loony killed topless stripper."
"Doggone, Commander, Queeg's daffy! Nattering fool! Doddering,
yapping, babbling, 'Strawberries'!" (JDorothy)
Following Danny's immature foolery, Ceejayyy sipped sherry attempting
crossword puzzles. (Ceejayyy)
Baseball rookie, winning playoffs, sees endless tobacco-spitting
Copyright © 1995 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved.