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DOUBLE TROUBLE
(10/20/95-11/3/95)

This contest is now closed. But enjoy!

(Click here to go directly to the winning entries.)

This word game was suggested by BobCork@aol.com, whose AOL account is hereby graced with 5 free hours courtesy of The Atlantic Monthly. Thanks and congrats, BobCork!

In this game, you may unburden your troubles. That is, we want you to use at least **10 words** to write a sentence, poem, dialog, headline, or quip that tells of some troubles (yours or somebody else's)--preferably of a comical nature.

But here's the stopper. Every word in your composition must have a set of doubled letters ("stopper" for example having a set of doubled "p"s and Letters a set of doubled "t"s), and no set of doubled letters may be repeated in your composition. For instance:

Dizzy waitress accidentally dropped cheesy egg platter, effectively festooning Bobby.
Perhaps you could say that poor Bobby had been "egged on." By the way, note that the word "accidentally" has *two* sets of doubled letters, which means that neither a "cc" nor an "ll" would be allowed elsewhere in that entry. And in case you're wondering, hyphenated words like "sure-footed" or "fuzzy-haired" are allowable and will count as single words.

Hurry off, keen-witted tale-tellers! Giddily scribble dazzling, funny-gloomy bummer accounts!

--EC and HR



DOUBLE TROUBLE Contest Results

(All names without @ symbols are AOL screen names.)

When we asked you to write a trouble-filled message of at least ten words with each word bearing a unique set of doubled letters, we expected to hear a lot about Hawaii, Henry Aaron, buzzing bees, vacuum cleaners, trekking hajjis, and donners of skivvies. But many of you racked your brains to find words, phrases, and names that defied all expectation. Our sympathies go to overworked contestant Rickwins, who wrote:

"Aardvark"? "Powwow"? "Exxon"? Sleep-deprived wannabe puzzle-solver's letter-fixated. Proof? Throbbing skull!
A similar lament came from contestant BLRygg, one of whose entries read:

"Twinned letters beggar buzzword supply," bellows Hawaiian lobbyist Hajji, bizarre bazaar bookkeeper. "Accordingly, addled assignment immensely difficult!"
Given the obstacles, perhaps it's not surprising that only two people succeeded in using all 26 letters of the alphabet in doubled sets. Doing so was bound to strain both vocabulary and sense, but intrepid gamers Guy and G8ly managed to meet the challenge admirably, with similar themes:

Savvy Wahhabite sayyid, accompanying Shiite muezzin, trekked all Shawwal. Passing Saqqara Exxon, three Sunni muggers suddenly appeared, robbed Muhammadan duumvir, carried off moolah, scuttling hajj. Salaam! (guy@research.att.com)
(Guy adds: "Saqqara Exxon is, of course, a gas station there, famous for its low prices and good service.")

Glowworms illuminated Exxon employees hurrying salaaming Hajjis trekking across Mecca. Jabbering Iraq-Qatar chauffeurs hooted diiambic opprobrium. Roughhouse tuuk-wielding cutthroats commanding hidden gayyous chivvied innocent muzzy stragglers. (G8ly)

And then there was RevMJK to contend with. He had the... shall we say, nerve... to submit the following:
Vvery iinexpensive kkeyboard sseems tto bbe mmalfunctioning, aalbeit qquite cconveniently. Yyou gget thhe iddea...
Combinations of humor and originality finally determined our three winners. Contestant BLRygg managed to condense a famous tragic drama by Hathaway's husband into sixteen words, not omitting any of the major characters! Kudos also to RevMJK and AM MAD0623, whose entries elicited giggles and hoots from the puzzle emcees. Each of these winners will receive 5 free AOL hours plus a book of his or her choice from the Atlantic's online bookstore.

***Our Three Winners***

Puzzling, haggish yakkers, revving queen, spook, womb-ripped Macduff all harry guilt-ridden Scottish successor; Anne's hubby commemorates. (BLRygg)

Terrible accident.
(Hanukkah roughhousing.)
Dropped ball peen hammer.
Quaaludes useless.
Ditto, foot. --Buddy "Buzzy" Griggs II
(RevMJK)

Suddenly, full-figured Peggy's hurriedly donned brassiere unhooked, accurately snapping sleeping hubby Sammy's fuzzy butt. (AM MAD0623)

***And Our Other Top Favorites***

Savvy Hawaiian fuzz arrayed hidden netting across Ka'anipali channel nabbing sniggler accomplices trolling common fishhooks, ripping off eels. (G8ly) (G8ly adds: "I wanted to put them in muumuus, but that would be silly.")

Pussycat Toonces accelerated Bubba's cammed Corvette suddenly, veering raggedly offroad, revving terrifically, frazzling Winnebago trekkers' happy powwow. (GumpForrst)

Scrappy little piggies tell flabbergasted planning commission: "Sorry, additional occupational huff-proofing needed!!" (Ravensegg)

Hollywood buzz: addled Dennis Hopper, undressed, slugged three insufferable filmmakers. (Rickwins)

Cooked unappetizing dinner: soggy bell pepper, desiccated beef, rubbery haddock. (Rickwins)

Albee's bummed: narrow-minded scribblers panned "Woolf" effort: "sluggish," "muddled," "rotten." (Rickwins)

Uncool jazz drummer, oddly muttering Yiddish, fluffs three Ellington classics. (Rickwins)

Planned dazzling Tiffany robbery. Whoops! Current address: cellblock nineteen, Attica. (Rickwins)

"Apprehend Hubby Jeff, Thuggish Goon Following Sudden Kerrigan Knee Attack." (Rickwins)

"Planning accelerated resettlement following Gramm-Farrakhan sweep. Russia suddenly looks appealing!" (Rickwins)

"Spliff-toking, dread-tressed reggae dubber hallucinates three adders occupying snood innards." (Rickwins)

Innumerable espressos followed supper. Feeling jittery, buzzed, maddened. Tomorrow? Gimme eggnog. (StefSpad)

Gramm arrived grinning: teeth off-color, unflossed, blebby, egg-coated, rotten-smelling, tobacco-riddled--goodbye, appetite! (Glemward)

Isaac, drubbing Exxon,
Looked oddly appeased
Yelling canny comment:
"Rotten Esso Bees!"
(JJJJUDE)

Panning overstuffed classes, Aaron's Middlebury application suggested trimming enrollment; school seemingly concurred, withholding acceptance letter. (SirrahC)

Innovative jazz bassoonist bebopped merrily between riffs, maddening mummified piccoloist. (Alums48454)

Bitter Greek nagger Xanthippe, squabbling endlessly, finally doomed marriage irrevocably. (Beccas123)

Savvy Hillary nagged hubby, snubbing soddish attitudes, smoothly assuring meekness. (Beccas123)

Excessive Maalox immediately loosened Exxon veep's unwilling innards, effectively stopping star-studded Hawaiian powwow. (MarksCS)

Hurriedly hemmed Apollo Thirteen apparel suddenly tattered, muffing Moroccan manned moon mission. (MarksCS)

Boffo hippos battled annoying Achilles heels, toddling passively. Grizzled squirrels hobbled doggedly too, accumulating lemmings. (HrtsDlite)

Betty's irrefutably stunning boobs effectively immobilized Eddie. Peggy slapped hapless hubby's cheek. Sizzling accusations followed. (HrtsDlite)

Grinning fuzzily, Tommy happily chugged three bottles, messily hiccoughing booze. Arresting officers nabbed hellbound Caddy. (Perdenales)

Innumerable beers chugged, bladder full, massive wetting imminent, bathroom occupied. (Unhunk)

Afrikaaner cobblers accept added fees Kaffirs doggedly, high-handedly, collectively, summarily announced sooner, opposing garrulous puzzled dissenting Trekkies attending. (frank@globalx.net)

Skiing buffs, especially canny new-wave cash-hungry Afrikaaner trekkies, happily toboggan too, carrying dazzling odd green accoutrements, commonly getting clobbered. (frank@globalx.net)

Skiing dazzlingly downhill, Buddy slammed trees stubbornly. Fitted coffin unnecessary. (LostnAustn)

Salaaming sunnily, Bobbie unwittingly vacuumed furry balls off Tommy's poodle's feet. (LostnAustn)

Hawaiian strippers accentuate mammoth sagging boobs, flabby bellies, massive buttocks. (SPMCKENZIE)

Cellist's offkey staccato flabbergasts Pittsburgh's Maazel; talentless fiddler currently kazooing. (Majeanoir)

FDA-approved blood pressure pill affects bladder, recurrently breeding soggy attire. (Majeanoir)

Lottery winner suffers concussion flipping cartwheels; correcting throbbing noggin guzzles millions. (Majeanoir)

Doffing grubby horn-rimmed glasses, greenhorn Buddy Holly misarranges Little Piggy Zoo. (Majeanoir)

Spreadsheet spills corrupt businessman's shabby accounting patterns; officer recommends soggy noodle whipping. (Majeanoir)

Moneyless Madonna maddeningly moonlights midweek modelling mulberry moccasins, Muppets mittens, monogrammed mufflers. (Majeanoir)

Bellicose Akkadian, canned summarily, apparently chooses bizarre attire: brass skivvies. (bala@research.att.com)

Baffled bookworm approaches celluloid-cyberspace errantly, freezes channels intermittently, muddling egghead's programming. Access fizzles. (DHCioffi)

Gorilla Monsoon, fuzzy speechmaker, occasional announcer, immediately embarrassed huffy grappler. (Daasek)

Buggy zookeeper swills iffy bottle, stammers terribly, hobbles hippopotamus. (StilWillin)

Bedridden, daffy Patty Penny swooned sleepily, humming bubblingly eccentric chart-stoppers. (Yesrad)

Frazzled swimmers continually doggie paddle; succeeding bubbles stopper pool gutters. (CallCS)

Bookkeeper's accidental addition errors assured utter dollar vacuum, imminent ennui. (Mnussbaum)

Brainless cook offered smelly cheddar cheese, rotten broccoli, soggy pizza, rubbery snapper. (Mnussbaum)

Seeing Momma cooking broccoli, Gabrielle attempts missing dinner. Efforts stopped, Gabby vacuums additional horrible veggies aardvark-like. (PunkyLC)

Trekking Exxon franchisee cooked stuffed peppers, bitter curry, broccoli Hollandaise, gummy slowworm pudding, blubber pizza, aardvark casserole. Savvy Hawaiian trash-hauler suggested vacuuming innards. (SqueezePly)

Stiff breezes suddenly rippled lass's pantaloons occasioning rubberneckers' flattering comments. (Alums48454)

Accountant Peggy Embezzles Bookstore! Tennyson Missing! Whittier Sullied! Coffers Fleeced! (RHorton508)

Worried bookie's annual summer folly--embezzling addicted bettors' "missing" accounts. (PiratKing)

Cordless Vacuum Kills Teen. Sheriff Suggests Hoover Accident Planned. Recommends Interrogation. (TDarsey)

Tell's arrow snagged apple off accountant's ruddy butt! Community's savvy announcer blabbered, "Asset's been goosed!" (SimiP)

Moonstruck lass succeeded flattering immensely irresistible villain; dapper Reggie revved, effectively winning Lizzie. (KnKreader)

"Vacuum's" savvy collapses; Brooks bobbles, commits three puzzling errors. Befuddled bosses powwow, yakking:
"Aah!"
"Accidents?"
"Yucky-yucky!"
Giggling opposing batters cannot withhold guffaws.
(Jltrent)

Aaron babbled accolades adding breezy affectations, aggressive Hawaiian hitchhiker allayed yammering announcer. (HALaw)

"BEACHHOUSE POWWOW?: Revved-up puzzle-obsessed budding cartoonist seeks bubbly, carrot-topped, long-legged, full-figured swimmer offering winning attitude, Puccini, skiing." (EnigmaGB)

Accountant embezzles. Currency disappears. Penniless. Kill bookkeeper. Attorney ineffective. Immured. (LesDan)

Steinbrenner scuttles Yankee renaissance. Followers aggrieved. Opponents guffaw. Good riddance! (LesDan)

Rookie batters ineffective. Sluggers needed. Apply immediately. Addicts accepted. Call Steinbrenner. (LesDan)

Livelihood loss occurrences aggrandize supplicating utterances, especially "wheedling," "quibbling," "schnozzling." (Valandy)

Terribly uncoordinated basketball dribbler, tripping across teammate's tennies, baffles referees. (M2ME)

Gracefully running ragged, Ross attacked Sammy's worrisome pooch, robbing sapphire studded collar. (KarolKim)

Dizzy Dallas staggered across Sammy's scruffy saloon, stuttering "Surrender sheep!" (MCauffman)

Toddlers attacking horror-stricken mommy--runny, snuffly booger hell--Kleenex supply ebbing--helplessness... (Waynwright)

See unhappy aardvark
Suffering horribly?
DDS plugged abscessed tooth
Non-anesthetically.
(KLewis7087)

Sammy's loose Speedo slipped maddeningly. Frantically scurrying, Sonny accepted jazzy leggings, babbling affably. (JDPhilpott)

Puddling babblers: drooling, announcing messy nappies, teething tizzies, clutter, eggy accidents; affecting all harried Mommies. (Falimar41f)

Barry kissed Betty's egg balloon effecting happy puddle bubble accidents. (SherryLE)

Reckless Bobby accidently spilled egg cheese annoying happy little swimmers. (SherryLE)

Johnny Appleseed babbled boozy ballads off-key giggling merrily across Hawaii. (RachellTv)

Buzz speedily dropped offensive poop, littering access, spurring immense hollering. (VBalson)

Letter accuses addlepated teenager: "Loony killed topless stripper." (Sinecosine)

"Doggone, Commander, Queeg's daffy! Nattering fool! Doddering, yapping, babbling, 'Strawberries'!" (JDorothy)

Following Danny's immature foolery, Ceejayyy sipped sherry attempting crossword puzzles. (Ceejayyy)

Baseball rookie, winning playoffs, sees endless tobacco-spitting opportunities. (ShedPot)


Copyright © 1995 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved.