A Fond Farewell
--Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon
This final installment in our series of word-game contests invited verbal slapstick, and we certainly received our share of homophonic pun-ishment. Some all-time classics inevitably turned up, with bakers NEEDING/KNEADING dough, cooks running out of TIME/THYME, princesses having a bad NIGHT/KNIGHT, doctors requiring a lot of PATIENCE/PATIENTS, Marines being rotten to the CORE/CORPS, and strange markets selling BIZARRE/BAZAAR items. Contestant firstname.lastname@example.org reminded us of another classic pun, writing:
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Suggest a contest for your fellow wordplay lovers. If we can use or adapt your idea, we'll bestow upon you any book from The Atlantic Store.
Here's a line that our local Dairy Queen had on its marquee one day when I was
a kid: "Seven days without a DQ burger makes one ___." (WEEK/WEAK)
Some contestants submitted entries with multiple parts, and others pulled out all the punnery stops. Worthy of honorable mention is homophonic gagster email@example.com, who wrote:
People complained when the reserves pulled out of Erie, but they left ___. (IRREGARDLESS/ERIE GUARD-LESS)
Our three top favorites came from firstname.lastname@example.org,
email@example.com, and firstname.lastname@example.org. These punsters will each be
awarded their choice of a free book from our online store or a T-shirt (in
black or white) with a surfing Poseidon on the back. Congratulations, winners!
And thanks, everyone, for this and many other games of friendly wordplay fun!
When gossip finally led to the landlady's arrest for murdering her tenants and scattering parts of their bodies around town, her only comment was, "Well, that's what comes of spreading ___." (ROOMERS/RUMORS) (email@example.com)
Ever the perfectionist, Anthony Quinn, when playing the fisherman in "The Old Man and the Sea," personally made sure his understudy's lines were ___. (TAUGHT/TAUT) (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I love your old worn-out jacket covered with all those slogans, but I can't read the ___ at the end of the sleeves. (FRAYS/PHRASE) (email@example.com)
Read more entries.
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