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Highland, Wisconsin
Sunday, April 30, 1893
To the Sisters of Charity at the Foundling Hospital
175 East 68th Street
New York City
Dear Sisters,
I say at the outset that I do not want him. This is my daughter Margaret's
idea, most entirely and emphatically hers. She learned of you and your good
work from Father Thomas J. McCormick, at St. Michael's Church, in Mineral
Point, Wisconsin. Father McCormick recently visited your establishment, and
spoke about it to the parish youth group. Margaret, her father, and I discussed
the acquisition of a child in a most cursory manner, and without our consent or
encouragement--indeed, without even our knowledge--she proceeded to write the
required letters, falsely, over her father's forged signature. It pains me
greatly to admit that my daughter is capable of such duplicity, even when the
ostensible cause is worthy and charitable. And yet, it is true.
And then, most unexpectedly, at dinner yesterday evening she announced that a
young boy is coming to us from New York City. Her tone and manner were so calm
and unimpassioned that had I not paid heed, I might well have thought she had
done no more than state her admiration for a new bonnet in Kaufmann's window on
Main Street.
Do not think me hard of heart or uncaring, Sisters, but at fifty-three I am an
old woman and not well. We are far from wealthy. The farm provides for our
needs but allows no excess. Of my five living children, three are grown and
gone. Patrick, the oldest, lives with us still, as does Margaret, the youngest,
age thirteen. She is eager for this boy you are sending us. She says that she
will tend to him and that I will not even know he is here. But I have my
doubts. My husband, when he spoke of it at all, pressed for an older boy,
someone to help with the chores. When he understood that the one you selected
for us is only four years of age, he lost whatever small curiosity he possessed
in the matter. So I fear that the burden of this child will fall heavily upon
me, and frankly, good Sisters, I shall not shoulder it.
I spoke to Father McCormick today after High Mass. He urged me to write to you
to withdraw Margaret's request for the child. That, as you must surmise, is the
motive that prompts this letter. So if the boy has not yet left your admirable
care, then keep him until a more willing and suitable family stakes its claim
to him. If, on the other hand, he has already departed, please let me know when
he will arrive, so that I can make adequate preparations. Father McCormick
explained that should this missive arrive after the boy has left, we can send
him back to you at the end of summer. Or, if you prefer, we can dispatch him to
another home, at no expense to us. Please confirm this for me. I assure you,
Sisters, that should the boy be on his way, I will attempt to care for him to
the utmost of my abilities. All things are worth trying, so I will try this
child, but for the summer only. Do bear in mind the probability of his return,
since at this moment I do not want him.
I eagerly await your reply.
Most sincerely,
Mrs. Thomas O'Brien (Constance)
The New York Foundling Hospital
New York City
May 7, 1893
My Dear Mrs. O'Brien,
Thank you for your letter dated April 30th. It is my great pleasure to tell you
that I do so trust in your goodness and generosity that despite your
understandable misgivings, the boy is coming to you soon. I myself will put him
on the train in three days' time, Wednesday, May 10. We will travel by the noon
ferry to Jersey City, where Albert Joseph--that is his name--will board the
Pennsylvania Railroad No. 5 (The Pennsylvania Limited) at quarter past
twelve. He will arrive in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, at twenty minutes past
two o'clock in the afternoon, and then at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, at half
past eleven that night. After a ten-minute stopover he will leave Pittsburgh
and arrive in Fort Wayne, Indiana, at twenty minutes to eight o'clock on the
morning of Thursday, May 11. He will then travel to Chicago, Illinois, where he
will arrive at twelve o'clock noon on that same day. At that juncture he will
transfer to the Illinois Central Railroad, leave Chicago at quarter past one
P.M., and arrive in Freeport, Illinois, at five o'clock in the evening. His
train will depart Freeport twenty minutes later and will arrive in Dodgeville,
Wisconsin, at twenty minutes to eight P.M., still on Thursday, May 11. I am
told that Dodgeville is eighteen miles from Highland, so please arrange to be
there to meet his train.
The weather here is warm, so I will dress him lightly in a double-breasted wool
jacket--which I believe will be useful to him in time to come (it now quite
overwhelms him). He will also wear long cuffed trousers, a white cotton shirt,
and good leather shoes. I do not know what the spring season will bring to
Wisconsin, though I am told it is much like here, only colder.
He will have one change of clean underthings in a brown paper bag. In another
bag he will have two sandwiches--cheese on rye bread, his favorite--and various
fruits. For your future information, Mrs. O'Brien, Albert refuses to eat meat.
Perhaps you can break him of this strange and frustrating habit. I tried
diligently but failed.
He will be accompanied on his journey by a Miss Clare Connelly, age eleven. I
know Miss Connelly to be an outstandingly responsible and capable young girl,
as she has been with us since birth. Do not worry, Mrs. O'Brien. She will care
for Albert Joseph as would any young woman twice her age. She has helped
frequently with infants, many much younger than Albert, who, at four, is
himself more reasonable and clear-thinking than you could possibly imagine.
My only concern is that as Miss Connelly will have to leave the train at
Chicago, Illinois, to begin her own new life with a family there, Albert may be
left to travel alone from Chicago to Dodgeville. Miss Connelly will see that he
transfers safely from the Pennsylvania Railroad to the Illinois Central
Railroad, and I will instruct her to find someone on the latter train to care
for Albert after her departure. Perhaps a conductor will attend to him. We must
trust in God's Will in such matters and pray for the best.
I will also attach notes to Albert's person, for anyone curious enough to look.
I will place these notes in his pockets. Further, I have sewn your name and the
words "Highland Wisco" into the hem of his jacket sleeve at the right wrist. I
used a sturdy white thread. I will label him as best I can. He knows his own
name and yours and has been told to ask for you.
You will recognize him immediately, Mrs. O'Brien, for he is a beautiful, bright
boy, with not the slightest penchant for naughtiness. I am confident that you,
your husband, and your generous (if somewhat mischievous!) daughter Margaret
will quickly come to love him, as I do, for he is no trouble and readily learns
new tasks.
I will now describe his physical appearance to help you identify him at the
railway station in Dodgeville. He has fine fair hair, very straight. His eyes
are blue with a slight greenish cast. His features are even and delicate.
Indeed, I consider his an almost angelic visage. Further, his teeth, legs, and
back are straight and strong, and his lungs healthy. He speaks very little, but
understands everything. He has a thoughtful, sober demeanor, and yet a quick
and easy smile. He is not in the least bit childish, despite his four short
years on this Earth. His religious development is most impressive, imbuing him
with a touching and genuine piety. He knows several prayers, including The Hail
Mary, The Our Father, The Glory Be, and certain lengthy sections of The
Apostles' Creed. He stands thirty-seven inches and weighs thirty-five pounds.
He is small for his age, a condition I attribute to his diet. I pray that the
fresh air of Wisconsin will stimulate his appetite and correct what is his only
peculiarity.
I close this letter with the fervent hope that I will hear good news from you
soon. Please write to me with questions, observations, and information, for I
love Albert Joseph. If, indeed, it is not unseemly for me to say so, I love him
as I would my own fleshly son, had God allowed it.
I pray that Jesus Christ, His saints--of whom, Mrs. O'Brien, I believe you are
one--and His loving Blessed Virgin Mother, Mary, will grant you and your fine
family all manner of grace, strength, and happiness.
In Christ, I am Yours,
Sister Jeanne-Marie Clotilde
New York Foundling Hospital
Highland, Wisconsin
May 13, 1893
Sister Jeanne-Marie Clotilde
The New York Foundling Hospital
175 East 68th Street
New York City
Dear Sister Jeanne-Marie Clotilde,
The boy arrived, as you said he would. We had no choice but to
meet him, as you seemed indifferent to the misgivings and requests I expressed
in my letter of April 30th. Forgive me for saying so, Sister, but by ignoring
my words you did this child a grave disservice. As is the case with all
children, this boy belongs in a home that welcomes him, not in one that feels
duped into accepting him.
Further, you have done me an injustice. As stated in my previous letter, I am
not a well woman. At the risk of embarrassing you, I will be blunt. Six months
ago I lost my breasts to cancer and the surgeon's knife. With them went the
last remnants of my maternal urge. Subsequently I have endured great agitation
in my mind and spirit, and have often pondered the value of my place here on
earth. Further, and much to my shame, I sought relief in hard drink and for a
time imagined I was carrying a child, although I knew this was impossible.
Thankfully, all that has passed, and my thoughts are now at peace with whatever
God's Mercy holds in store for me.
I deeply resent, however, the responsibility you have thrust upon me to care
for this poor boy. I have borne seven children to full term in my lifetime. Two
of them died, one immediately from a misshapen head, and the other at the age
of two, from diphtheria. I have done my duty to God and to my husband, Sister,
and I do not believe I should be called upon to do even more, now, with the
appearance of this child. Further, I worked as a teacher for six years before
marriage, thereby contributing to the good of many young children. And,
finally, my disease is certain to return in the near future. I accept this fact
as God's Will. When that day comes, however, what will become of this small,
dependent child? My husband is not inclined to rear him, and Margaret will have
to begin her own life unencumbered by the liabilities and responsibilities of a
young brother for whom she must care.
Nevertheless, he is here, and as you wrote, he is a beautiful child. Thus I
will be kind to this boy and will attempt to the best of my abilities to care
for him this summer. But my heart, Sister, is not in it, and the heart, I
believe, is crucial to the proper rearing of children.
Further, in these past two days he has shown evidence of being a troubling
child, even taking into consideration the strain of his journey and the
confusion and fright that his new surroundings must surely engender in his
young imagination. For his entire first night under our roof he sat on the edge
of his bed as still as ice. If he slept at all, he did so bolt upright. He
would not allow us to remove his clothing and dress him for sleep, nor would he
speak to us. The following morning he ate but little, just milk and one fried
egg, and throughout the day he did not stir, but sat staring out the window at
the barn. To this day he has refused to change his clothing and has said
nothing comprehensible.
At present I feel at sea in my exchanges with him, and worry that he may
possess some deficiency or lapse that can lead only to disaster. I must know
more about this child. If you have any additional information, please send it
to me promptly. I would like to know something of his parentage. And what is
his birth date?
I await your speedy reply.
Sincerely yours,
Constance O'Brien
New York City
Sunday, May 21, 1893
Dear Mrs. O'Brien,
Two whole days were required that I might absorb the powerful effects of your
most recent letter. I did not, of course, know of your illness, nor did I
understand your sorrows. I truly beg your pardon, Mrs. O'Brien, and pray
fervently for your health, in spirit, mind, and body.
In response I can state only that life in this city is desperately cruel for
children like Albert. The streets teem with unwanted boys and girls. Whole
families die of diseases like typhoid, cholera, and influenza, leaving behind
one or two small survivors to fend for themselves. These are castaways, adrift
on the world's harsh and heartless sea. We struggle to find homes for these
children--to bring them to the safe shore of God's eternal love--and in our
eagerness we sometimes err. Still, my dear Mrs. O'Brien, if you could only see
what a great service you have performed by taking Albert under your roof! You
have given him what all children need--a family! And you have allowed us to
take in yet another child, one who would have slept in doorways or on hay
barges had you not accepted Albert into your home. Further, life in Wisconsin,
with its clean water and sweet, stimulating air, will surely benefit Albert
immeasurably more than life in this city of pestilence and pain.
To answer your questions, we know little of Albert's parental history. He came
to us in a basket left at our back door during the early-morning hours of
Sunday, September 11, 1888. He was fully clothed and seemingly well tended. A
five-dollar bill and a handwritten note accompanied him. I have the note in
front of me and will copy it here, exactly as written:
Dear Sisters,
Please take care of my baby boy. I love him but can not feed and cloth him.
He is not illegal. His name is Albert Joseph and he was Baptized by an Irish
preest. He is now four months of age.
Thank you Sisters and God bless You All,
the Sad Mother of Albert
Based on this information, we dated his birth at approximately May 11, 1888,
which would mean that he arrived at your home on his fifth birthday, exactly.
Believe me, Mrs. O'Brien, I did not plan this. It is the sheerest of fate's
coincidences, and I realize it only now, as I write it to you. And yet if seen
from our Savior's Point of View, it may not be coincidence at all but a fine
thread in the Tapestry of His Father's Wondrous Plan.
I have been especially close to Albert, for I arrived at the Foundling Hospital
from our Mother House in Quebec, Canada, on September 1, 1888, just ten days
before he arrived. I nursed him through two serious illnesses, including
scarlet fever. During our time together I taught him several French words,
which he now uses with a child's disarming and often apt carelessness. For
example, Albert and I traveled by livery to the ferry in Jersey City on the day
of his recent departure. He was elated to begin his new life in Highland,
Wisconsin, and, as is typical of him, he felt a great affinity for the horse
that drew our carriage. He pointed to the horse's ears and called them
"piquant," a word I recently taught him. I thought it a fine application of a
difficult word. (Oh, Mrs. O'Brien: I was most heartened to learn that you were
once a teacher. After entering the convent I, too, was trained to teach, and
found the shaping of young minds the most gratifying of all the work God has
asked of me.)
I hope this information will be of some assistance to you. I acknowledge its
inadequacy, but it is all I have. I eagerly await your next correspondence.
Does Albert continue to refuse to consume meat? And has he ever asked after me?
I will remember you in my prayers.
Most sincerely yours in Christ our Savior,
Sister Jeanne-Marie
Highland, Wisconsin
June 9, 1893
Sister Jeanne-Marie Clotilde
The New York Foundling Hospital
175 East 68th Street
New York City
Dear Sister Jeanne-Marie,
Much has transpired in the nearly two weeks since I opened your last letter. I
have found it puzzling and difficult knowing so little about this boy and yet
feeling such responsibility for his well-being. With my children I could always
draw a line from their actions to those of other persons in our family. When
Liam began to stutter, I remembered that my uncle Homer was similarly
afflicted. When Timothy developed a limp, I recalled that my mother's second
cousin, Walter, was likewise crippled. And when Patrick began to show signs of
feeblemindedness, I remembered that my father's uncle Aaron spent the last nine
years of his life at the Wisconsin State Hospital for the Insane. But with
Albert everything is unprecedented and inexplicable.
As one example, Sister, can you tell me: Was Albert ever prone to theft? In the
past several days he has acted in a way that is quite unsettling to all of us.
It began after Mass on Sunday, May 21. We returned from church, hungry from
fasting, and I began to prepare our breakfast. I sent Patrick to the henhouse
to fetch some eggs. He returned empty-handed. Believing he had misunderstood, I
sent him back. Again he returned without a single egg. So I went to the
henhouse myself and, much to my astonishment, found not one egg, which is most
strange, as our hens are fertile and reliable. My husband was as abashed as I.
Later that day, as I was putting clean clothes into drawers, I made a most
astonishing discovery. There, nestled in each of our drawers, was a cluster of
chicken eggs, tucked in the corner and covered lightly with our clothing. Still
later I discovered the hogs' feed in the horses' stalls, and the horses' oats
in the henhouse.
When I asked Albert if he knew anything about this strange confusion, he
quickly admitted to all of it. He said he was "putting things at home" (his
exact words), and claimed that the animals should share their food. Other
occurrences have continued this theme. I found my hairbrush in the hayloft, for
example, and my husband's favorite hat in the hogs' trough.
Still other objects remain missing: my best linen handkerchief, for one;
Patrick's dress collar and cloth umbrella; and my husband's Missal. Albert
makes no attempt to deny responsibility, and my husband believes that corporal
punishment is the only means of breaking such potentially illegal habits. So
now, each time an object disappears, Thomas gets out his belt and strikes
Albert several times across the behind.
I myself do not agree with such methods, but my husband is a strong man, having
marched to the sea with General William T. Sherman's Union Army some thirty
years ago. Although I did not know him then, I believe his participation in the
burning of Atlanta, Georgia, and the rude destruction of property and livestock
along the way hardened his heart and stilled the gentler aspects of his
nature.
And yet another strange occurrence requires your clarification. Yesterday
morning my husband and I were in the barn feeding the horses. Albert had
accompanied us, as he seems to take particular delight in watching the animals
eat. At some point in the conversation occurring between us, my husband
commented on our prize horse, Sassy, calling her a "grand mare." With that
Albert began to laugh uncontrollably and insisted that Sassy was not a grand
mare, but that I was. He repeated this sentiment with great conviction,
pointing at me and insisting that I was a grand mare. As he speaks rarely, this
outburst was so out of character as to be shocking. I cannot understand the
import of this puzzling incident, and I wonder about Albert's mental stability
if he could, as he did, maintain in the face of all logic and common sense that
I was a horse.
In response to your questions, Albert is adamant in his refusal to eat meat.
His stubbornness is annoying, and I am fearful that his growth will be stunted
permanently. Further, he grew quite beside himself recently when he witnessed
my husband killing a chicken for supper. The chicken ran around the yard for
some few moments after its head was removed, as is natural for chickens.
Albert, however, screaming piteously, grabbed the decapitated head from off the
tree stump and scurried after the chicken like a banshee, begging the dead
animal to stop so that he could "fix" it. The event was so unexpected that all
we could do was laugh. Later that night I watched Albert sneak out to the
rabbit hutch, open the door, lift one of the rabbits to the ground, and stomp
his feet, as if to frighten the rabbit away. The rabbit, however, accustomed to
people, simply stood there until I arrived and put it back into the hutch. My
husband and I feel Albert's behavior is unnatural. We will try to correct it.
Albert asks for you frequently and I explain that you are far away. Please
write soon with any comments or observations that will help us better
understand Albert's unique personality.
Waiting eagerly,
Constance O'Brien
New York City
June 16, 1893
My Dear Constance,
Your most interesting letter of June 9th is received. May the Lord reward you a
thousandfold for the kindness and patience you are showing dear Albert. Your
letters are of great value to me, as I feel that despite the many miles that
separate us, Albert still holds a part of my being in his. I am glad that he
asks for me, but am sure that in your loving care he will soon forget me.
Unfortunately, I cannot solve all the mysteries you pose in your letter. For
one, Albert never revealed any tendency toward theft while in my care, and I
cannot begin to explain his behavior regarding the eggs & feed, etc. We do
teach the children to share their meager belongings with others here at the
Hospital, and Albert was always quick to do so. Perhaps he is simply mistaking
that lesson and applying it to the animals on your farm.
Upon the incident concerning your horse I am happy to shed some light. I
believe that Albert simply misunderstood what your husband was saying when he
referred to the horse as a grand mare and heard, instead, the French word
grand-mère, which means "grandmother." I am certain that he meant
this as a compliment to you, as we teach our children to honor and respect all
aspects of family, even though few of these unfortunate outcasts will ever be
part of one.
I hesitate to say so, and I hope you will pardon what might be construed as
impudent, but I do hope you can persuade your good husband to desist from
corporal punishment. During my many years of working with children like Albert,
I have found that physical punishment rarely corrects undesirable behavior,
especially if the child has not yet reached the age of reason. I have read that
the mind is connected to the brain, and that the brain responds to physical
sensation in surprising ways. Pain teaches children not respect but fear, and
fear leads to numbness of mind, not to acuity, thereby rendering the mind
incapable of grasping the lesson being taught. Human nature seeks to escape
pain and to find pleasure. My belief, then, is that when physical pain is used
as a means of instruction, with each blow of the belt--with each second that
the child suffers--we lose the child's mind to the haphazard pleasures of the
imagination. The child learns the art of fancy and fantasy, not the hard lesson
of obedience, for the body is the most sordid and least reliable avenue to the
soul. The body controls the lower functions only, and the boy who attempts to
be good through fear is just as crude as the person who attempts to dance by
rote.
My poor father, like your husband, was misguided in this regard, and thus I can
assure you from my own hurtful personal experience that physical punishment
leads not to comprehension but rather to a befuddled and nervous disposition.
Indeed, when I entered the convent, at age eleven, I did so not only to answer
Christ's Call and to alleviate the burden on my desperately poor family but
also because physical punishment had led me to the grotesque delusion that I
was Saint Joan of Arc, destined for martyrdom and glory. Thanks to the kindness
of the good Sisters of Charity, I slowly returned to my true self, and in that
journey learned that those who are temperate act not from fear but from habit,
and that good habits are created gradually, diligently, and lovingly. I believe
with Saint Paul, who wrote to the Corinthians, "Charity suffereth long, and is
kind." I cannot think of a higher ideal than that, nor a more efficient means
to touch a young boy's heart and alter the disorderly habits of his mind.
Please forgive my remarks if you find them meddlesome.
Yours in Christ and all His Mercies,
Sister Jeanne-Marie
Postscript: Seeing that Albert is of such a sensitive nature, perhaps you can
protect him from the natural slaughter of animals that is a good and necessary
part of life on your farm.
New York City
June 29, 1893
My Dear Friend,
I have not heard from you in so many days that I fear I may have offended you.
Please write soon to let me know that all is well with you and Albert and your
good family. I never intended insult and dearly apologize if any was taken.
Your Friend in Christ,
Sister Jeanne-Marie
Highland, Wisconsin
July 8, 1893
Sister Jeanne-Marie Clotilde
The New York Foundling Hospital
175 East 68th Street
New York City
Dear Sister Jeanne-Marie,
I am sorry if my silence caused you worry. We have suffered a trying few weeks,
and I simply could not find time to put pen to paper. Our cares seem most
weighty this summer. First, Highland is in tumult, having been invaded by
tramps whose brazenness and brutality quickly dispel whatever grain of pity one
might feel for them. They number in the scores and seem to multiply daily,
often congregating in front of taverns and other places of questionable
reputation. Countless burglaries have been attributed to them, along with
wanton destruction of property. We, thank God, have been spared, but Sam
Peterson, an acquaintance, recently suffered a dreadful loss. Tramps lured his
favorite hunting dog, a fine beagle named Lucius, into a shack, where they
skinned and gutted him, as one would dress a deer. They placed the remains,
hide intact, at Mr. Peterson's door, with a note saying "We Mean Business."
Mrs. Peterson is said to have rebuffed their demands for food and drink the
previous day.
I've heard that many of these men are Germans who worked at the iron mines.
When the ore gave out some years ago, they moved to timbering. Now the trees
are gone, and they have no means of making a livelihood. So they wander from
town to town, stealing and begging. Further, three banks have closed during the
past several months, leaving many farmers penniless. Some have turned to acts
of arson to collect insurance on barns and livestock. And I understand that an
outbreak of black diphtheria has taken fifteen lives, mainly children, in the
town of Mount Horeb, just east of here. I also heard that two women--wives
deserted by the tramps in Germantown--were driven mad by want and desperation
and so took their own lives. They were found next to each other, hanging from
the same tree, and a dead infant girl was discovered in a soapbox under their
feet.
These tragedies reduce our troubles to almost nothing, and yet I cannot say
that this summer is easy for us. Margaret has moved to Prairie du Chien, where
she works in the kitchen of a prosperous family. Her absence has meant more
work for me. Then our hogs developed a blight, and twelve had to be killed for
no profit. And the very next week Albert and Patrick did something quite
remarkable. According to Patrick, Albert told him to dig a large hole behind
the barn to give the horses air. Those are Albert's words exactly, as he admits
to having spoken them. Patrick complied, digging a pit some ten feet wide and
two feet deep. As this was on the south side of the barn, where we seldom have
cause to go, we did not discover the pit until it had been completed. My
husband worked hard for two days to fill the hole again, even with Patrick's
help.
Naturally, both Patrick and Albert were punished for this nonsense, which
brings to mind the comments in your letter of June 16th regarding corporal
punishment. My husband and I discussed these ideas and concluded that our
experience in family matters justifies whatever course of discipline we might
pursue for Albert. Be assured, however, that any and all punishment is
administered with the correct intent. Indeed, we thought that Albert was
responding in kind, until the incident described above.
Still, he is now more talkative and curious than ever. He has also gained
weight and grown noticeably and begun to take part in family activities, like
saying Grace before meals. He still refuses to eat meat, but we have accepted
this in him. His objection to meat does not appear to be a whim or an act of
contrariness on his part, but rather a manifestation of something deep in his
unfathomable character. I hope, however, that he will outgrow it. He now tends
to several of the animals on the farm, most often the cows. But we do not allow
him to witness the slaughtering.
He seems content here, and I have come to appreciate even his eccentricities,
and feel healthier now than I have since before my illness. Perhaps the doctors
are wrong and the cancer will not return, and I will live to see Albert grown
and happy.
Your friend in Wisconsin,
Constance (O'Brien)
New York City
July 16, 1893
Dear Constance,
It is Sunday night and the children are asleep. They sleep on cots lined up
like soldiers, one close upon the other, in a large room on the fourth floor of
our Hospital. These are young children, infants to age five, so they are mixed,
boys and girls together. The night beyond the windows is hot and quiet. I sit
at a desk near the door, keeping watch. I write by candlelight. The children
often speak in their sleep, like saints speaking in tongues. One child just
spoke of a crocodile. Another talks about her dolly being lame. Two children
whisper to each other, although both appear to be sleeping soundly. And Martin
just wet the bed again. He is beginning to squirm in a miserable attempt to
make himself comfortable. I will tend to him in a moment.
The bed immediately to my right is Albert's. Another child, a two-year-old
Negro girl named Pearl, sleeps there now. I should never have allowed myself to
love Albert as much as I did. I know that now. The other Sisters warned me, but
I was arrogant and ignored them. I recognize this now as a sin of pride, and I
confess it to you, Constance, rather than to a priest, for no priest could know
how serious a sin it really is. No absolution, no Act of Contrition, will ever
put it to rest.
I knew Albert better than I have known any other male being on this Earth. I
took his head in my hands and felt its weight and shape. I bathed his small
body and dressed him. I cut his hair. I kissed him. I have many children here,
and still none. I am seized by melancholy, for I sense a change in your most
recent letter, and I realize that Albert's life is becoming yours, as it once
was mine.
I must tend to Martin now, before his restlessness awakens the others.
May You Sleep in Christ's Loving Arms Always,
Sister Jean-Marie Clotilde
Highland, Wisconsin
August 14, 1893
Sister Jeanne-Marie Clotilde
The New York Foundling Hospital
175 East 68th Street
New York City
Dear Sister,
You will be relieved to learn that we have decided to keep the boy after all.
We have changed his name to Robert Homer. We think it suits him better, and he
does not seem to mind. I will always pray for you.
Yours,
Constance O'Brien
Illustration by Paul Micich
Copyright © 1996 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights
reserved.
The Atlantic Monthly; February 1996; Albert and the Animals; Volume 277, No. 2;
pages 66-73.
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