Back to The Wire What is The Wire? The Wire features the latest news coverage from The Atlantic.

How to Spot the Reptilians Running the U.S. Government

As 12 million Americans "know," the United States government is run by lizard people (or, to be scientifically accurate, reptilians). But they never said which members of the government are the reptilians.

As 12 million Americans "know," the United States government is run by lizard people (or, to be scientifically accurate, reptilians). But they never said which members of the government are the reptilians. So we're here to help.

Piecing together the latest groundbreaking research being conducted by commenters at conspiracy websites, we've been able to isolate a number of prominent individuals who possess reptilian-compatible bloodlines. As "ufochick" writes at DavidIcke.com (Icke is a prominent reptile theorist, as evidenced by his book at right), even if a person has compatible bloodlines, "they will not become a reptilian unless a reptilian entity inhabits their physical body."

Or maybe it isn't important. UnderstandingEvil.com describes how to tell if you're "under assault" by reptilians; "Protector of Mankind" writes at Alien-UFOs.com that you can be a "reptilian/human hybrid." It sort of varies. But according to Icke, this is how it works.

Thousands of years ago, the reptilian beings [from the constellations Orion, Sirius, and Draco] intervened on planet Earth and began interbreeding with humans. Not physically, however, but rather through the manipulation of the human coding, or DNA. Icke states that it is no coincidence that humans have fundamental reptilian genetics within their brain.

Whatever. The point being that it is easy to tell when you have or someone you know has been possessed by a reptile from outer space. While Icke doesn't describe how to spot someone who has been manipulated by/merged with a reptilian — probably to protect his lucrative speaking circuit revenues—others have. The common signs (according to one source):

"predominance of green or hazel eyes that change color like a chameleon, but also blue eyes" "piercing eyes"
"true red or reddish hair" "a sense of not belonging to the human race"
"low blood pressure" "deep compassion for fate of mankind"
"keen sight or hearing" "physic abilities" (probably meant "psychic")
"ESP" "unexplained scars on body"
"UFO connections" "capability to disrupt electrical appliances"
"love of space and science" "alien contacts"


Good list! So let's see if we can pinpoint our lizard overlords based on these hints. For example: Who has eyes that are green or hazel or blue but which may change to be different colors? Maybe you.


Yes. Obama's eyes are usually not blue or green, but he can maybe change them, so, you know.
According to his doctors, Obama has low blood pressure. The Washington Post: "Compassion in Chief"
The president doesn't wear glasses or a hearing aid.
This video is conclusive, rational documentation of Obama's unexplained scar.
Even his teleprompter sometimes breaks.
He loves science, especially kid scientists.


Additional evidence: Barack Obama has an uncanny ability to assassinate flies. That is about as reptilian as you can get.

Verdict: The president is a reptilian.


Biden does have eyes. Blue ones!
(His hair, when present / not white, was dark colored.)
His blood pressure is "healthy." Sure, why not.
Biden sometimes wears glasses, but not usually.
Well, he has some explained scars.
Three days after Biden took office there was a spike in UFO sightings in his home state.
Yeah, he likes science. Biden knows aliens.

Additional evidence: Here is an important video about Biden's reptilian eyes.

Presented by

Philip Bump is a former politics writer for The Atlantic Wire.

Life as an Obama Impersonator

"When you think you're the president, you just act like you are above everybody else."

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register.

blog comments powered by Disqus

VIdeo

Life as an Obama Impersonator

"When you think you're the president, you just act like you are above everybody else."

Video

Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman

You don't have to tell her how big she is. You don't need to touch her belly.

Video

Maine's Underground Street Art

"Graffiti is the farthest thing from anarchy."

Video

The Joy of Running in a Beautiful Place

A love letter to California's Marin Headlands

Video

'I Didn't Even Know What I Was Going Through'

A 17-year-old describes his struggles with depression.

More in National

Just In