Growing Up Gay and Transgendered in Appalachia

Awareness about sexuality and gender differences remains painfully limited in much of the region, but some have begun sharing their stories

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Tyler Watts remembers having a happy childhood: His parents gave him everything he ever wanted, but as a young teenager growing up in Hindman, Kentucky, a small town of around 700 people, nestled in the Appalachian mountains, Watts was also fighting demons. Comments and jokes -- both from strangers and even some members of his own family -- about "gays" and "fags" would jolt right to the pit of his stomach, but at the time, Watts wasn't quite sure why.

Looking back, the 37-year-old says he was terrified of admitting who he really was because of those comments he had heard growing up. "I was worried what people would think of me," he says.

I hated it with a passion. In my head I was thinking 'You're dressing me like a girl and I'm not a girl'."

Watts was born Tammy Watts, but for the last three years he has lived as a transgendered man. And thanks to an oral history project spearheaded by the nonprofit StoryCorps, whose mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds with the opportunity to preserve the stories of their lives for posterity, and the Kentucky Equality Federation, which is focusing on sexual orientation in rural Kentucky, Watts is about to share his tale of growing up in rural Appalachia in the hope it can help other people like him. The stories are to be preserved at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress.

"I remember when I first started school and in my mind I related to myself as a little boy," he says. "When I went into first grade I'd get ready to use the bathroom the boys used and the teacher told me 'no no no -- this way'."

At first Watts thought he was gay. "Society coerces you into thinking you're something you're not," he says. "My parents were Jehovah's Witnesses at the time and I remember my mom would want me to wear dresses to meetings and I would throw a fit. I felt so uncomfortable in a dress, even as child. I hated it with a passion. In my head I was thinking 'You're dressing me like a girl and I'm not a girl'."

Watts began dating a girl in high school and eventually came out to his parents, but said it was when he went through his transition three years ago that the problems started. "My parents learned to deal with thinking I was a lesbian. But when I came out with my transition ... my mother has every right to hurt. She still lives [in Hindman] and works in a small office there and you know how small-office politics are."

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Courtesy of Tyler Watts

He says he understands the emotions his mother is going through, but insists it's important for parents of transgendered children to go through a process of acceptance. "You may never understand it, but you can accept it. There's a lot of information out there. And your child is not the only one going through this."

Quinton Lewis's experience growing up in rural Kentucky was not dissimilar. Now 17 years old and in his final year of high school, he says he first realized he was gay when he was eight. "I didn't want to tell anybody. I felt alone. But I ended up telling my mom when I was ten and my friends when I turned 12."

Lewis remembers the day he broke the news to his mother. It was the night of November 2nd, 2004. "I was laying in bed, watching TV," he says. "I told myself that mom should know; that she will love me no matter what, so I wrote it on a piece of paper and told her to read it. She started crying and told me she'd still love me the same no matter what I am or who I date. I felt a lot better after I told her, but to this day I don't really talk about it with her.

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Alex Hannaford is a writer based in the U.K. His work has appeared in The Guardian, GQ, and The Texas Observer.

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