Tickled Pink by the TSA

Ira Stoll's account of being felt-up by a TSA agent reminds me of that great pat-down scene in "Take the Money and Run," which I can't find on the Interwebs. If anyone out there locates it, could you send me a link? Here's Ira, trying not to laugh:

Finally, TSA Officer Daniels arrived and asked me to step forward and around to a spot at the end of the luggage conveyor belt, where my wife and her sister were waiting with our luggage. Snapping the blue latex gloves around his wrists, he said, "Alright, I am going to pat you down." He asked me if I had any sores, scrapes or bruises on my body, and I said no. He explained that he was going to use the back of his hands on my groin and inner thighs and the front of his hands everywhere else. I tried to keep a straight face but couldn't suppress a nervous giggle. Not that I was nervous about him finding a bomb on me that I did not have, but nervous about having some total stranger male rubbing his hands, front or back, along my groin and inner thigh until they meet "resistance."

Which he proceeded to do, while my hands were spread-eagled. While that aspect of the procedure was both ticklish and not particularly enjoyable, the most invasive part in my opinion was not actually the groin and inner thigh search but the waist search, in which Officer Daniels ran his blue-latex-glove-clad fingers, the front of them, all around my body inside of my pants waistband.

The whole feel-up was somewhere between a massage and being tickled.
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Jeffrey Goldberg is a national correspondent for The Atlantic and a recipient of the National Magazine Award for Reporting. He is the author of Prisoners: A Story of Friendship and Terror. More

Before joining The Atlantic in 2007, Goldberg was a Middle East correspondent, and the Washington correspondent, for The New Yorker. He was previouslly a correspondent for The New York Times Magazine and New York magazine. He has also written for the Jewish Daily Forward and was a columnist for The Jerusalem Post.

Goldberg's book Prisoners was hailed as one of the best books of 2006 by the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Slate, The Progressive, Washingtonian magazine, and Playboy. He received the 2003 National Magazine Award for Reporting for his coverage of Islamic terrorism and the 2005 Anti-Defamation League Daniel Pearl Prize. He is also the winner of the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists prize for best international investigative journalist; the Overseas Press Club award for best human-rights reporting; and the Abraham Cahan Prize in Journalism.

In 2001, Goldberg was appointed the Syrkin Fellow in Letters of the Jerusalem Foundation, and in 2002 he became a public-policy scholar at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars in Washington, D.C.

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