We know, we know. You're jonesing for some April Fool's Day jokes. Instead of devising a lame introduction to delay you, we'll send you straight to our lengthy, roughly categorized, and far-from-definitive list of the day's tomfoolery.
- The National Republican Senatorial Committee has a pretty funny video (below) about Obama's accomplishments. Liberals and conservatives alike can enjoy the first half. The second, not so much.
- Lick your screen! Ben & Jerry's offers virtual ice cream.
- Funny or Die is renamed Bieber or Die. As the teen pop icon himself puts it in a video on the site, "this is Bieber's world, you're just living in it."
- Starbucks offers new tiny Micra and gigantic Plenta sizes for its customers' various disturbing coffee needs.
- In one of the riskier April Fool's jokes, Reddit.com, the social news Web site, made all users administrators enabling anyone to wreak havoc by banning others, repeatedly voting on items, etc.
- Qualcomm posted a video of a press conference in which the company confronts news that a stolen prototype has led to vicious butterfly attacks.
- Watch any Hulu video and you'll see a 3D option. Click on it and a window pops up with this 10-minute, Alec Baldwin-narrated, confidential video explanation that Hulu and Hollywood are run by brain-hungry aliens.
- Popular geek comic XKCD dweebs out with an old-school, command-line Unix version of the site. Did your eyes just glaze over? It's okay, check out the site, you don't have to be a nerd to enjoy the comics (usually).
Fake News Reports
- CNet UK's Crave blog reports on the arrest of a man who was trying to destroy the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland. He claims he's from the future and that the collider sets off a series of events that turn the world into a "communist chocolate hellhole."
- The British Labour Party embraces voter intimidation with posters of all-around bad-ass Gordon Brown above the slogan "Vote Labour. Or Else."
- Wikipedia's featured article of the day is on wife selling (it's easier than divorce) and there's a bizarre, but true, story on a Japanese company investigating how its product sent some customers back to 1999.
- The Economist analyzes how Russia stands to gain from the pending olive-oil crisis
- The Conservative Daily Caller confirms that Joe Biden's got a big f#%king chance at a flawless NCAA bracket.
- Tech news site Ars Technica eschews fake articles for a choose-your-own-adventure series starring Cthulhu, horror writer H.P. Lovecraft's alien entity.
- "Specially trained ferrets are being used to deliver broadband to rural areas."
- Grist has a story about McDonald's giving up on its composting program since their food won't decompose anyway.
- Obama says the federal budget is "an accounting swindle little different from Enron," at least according to Reuters' Gregg Easterbrook.
- Speaking of budgets, the Queen of England knows how to save money: fly coach.
- ThinkGeek reports on the iCade, an iPad arcade cabinet. Just slide your iPad in and relive your Donkey Kong, barrel-tossing youth.
- There's the Pad-Dock, which turns your iPhone into an iPad.
- Be sure you're making the perfect cup of tea with this iPad thermometer addon.
- Oh, and, just kidding! CNet reports that the iPad is actually just a big joke.
- The search giant changed its name to Topeka, in reference to the Kansas city which renamed itself Google last month in its bid to be selected for a pilot program from the search giant that would hook a community up with high-speed, fiber-optic Internet access. TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington is not a fan, writing that "the problem is the whole joke is really just a way to promote Google’s experimental fiber network."
- The Gmail homepage was disemvowelled.
- YouTube introduced a new feature to convert videos to a Matrix-like array of text.
- You can now be notified that you have a new Google Wave by an actual human waving at you.
- Upload anything (seriously, "keys, remotes, rail passes, and other objects") to Google Docs.
- Google Maps offers a 3D street view. And Google Books offers a 3D view, too.
- Google UK provides an animal translation service.
Not enough for you? Check out TechCrunch's very long, graded list of jokes from around the Web.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.